But you get the picture.
Johnny and "Camille" dazzled last night in Torino, finishing a surprisingly strong second after the short program. But as the media have tip-toed gingerly around any overt suggestions about Johnny's sexuality, I decided to ponder those code words a little more deeply.
MalcoVision brings you the result of those ruminations, a sort of "Pop-Up Video" – Olympics style.
Don't worry, purists: I have provided his performance in full, defiling only NBC's pre-skate profile of Johnny.
[Watch video – 9:27, WMV format, high bandwidth]
[Watch video – 9:27, WMV format, low bandwidth]