There is apparently something about the Hamptons that makes little children there spontaneously lose bladder control.
I swear to God, I would have taken a picture of this if it wouldn't have led to a potential kiddie porn rap, but we saw the following on Saturday in East Hampton:
We were walking up Newtown Lane when we saw a little girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old, in a tree box. She was squatting down, holding onto the small fence surrounding the tree for balance, and bare-ass naked, in front of some very high-end furniture stores. Her butt was thrust outward to keep her pants unsoiled by whatever was about to come out of her.
Even more strangely, her family was standing around her, cheering her on and making pissing noises to ease her through what appeared to be severe pee-shyness, rather than quickly escorting her to any of the nearby bathrooms that permitted public use.
I ask why the Hamptons seems to elicit such behavior only because Gawker posted a quite similar story a couple of years ago, writing it off as "normal."
So are the Hamptons' over-privileged spawn of yuppie scum really just Manhattan's publicly urinating homeless of tomorrow? I'm just wondering.
And finally ...
Our hotel was nice enough, as far as last-minute Hamptons reservations go, but the walls were ... well, a wee bit thin – as evidenced by the following clearly overheard conversation:
MAN: Hey baby!
MAN: Guess who's up?
MAN: Mr. Pee-Pee!
Things remained quiet long after that exchange, so we can only assume that Mr. Pee-Pee is still up at this very moment.