Enough With The Plant

I'm honestly beginning to worry about the media. They love the titan arum, otherwise known as the "corpse plant." It smells of death and looks like a giant phallus penetrating a vagina. Mothers, lock your mortuaries. Suddenly Maureen Dowd's life makes an awful lot of sense. Tim Burton isn't creepily disturbing - he's prescient.

The obsession is simply inexplicable. If any one of these plants in the world blooms at any given time, there it is in the headlines. I understand they bloom every five years or so, but these things are constantly blooming.

Something strange is going on here. The first dozen or so times the titan arum bloomed, it was a cute little story slapped onto the end of the nightly newscast. Now, it's an almost alarming infatuation. Until one of these things devours a busty blonde with Texas hair, I beg corporate media masters to declare a moratorium on them. It's beginning to freak me out.

Comments

[Grammar Watch]

Proper spelling: "moratorium."

[Robbie]

Eh, that's what happens when posting at 4 AM, thanks.

[olivier de serres]

C'mon. You've just GOT to love a genus named Amorphophallus ('shapeless phallus'). I grow a couple of species at work - A. konjac and A. bulbifer - although I have not yet attempted A. titanum. I like to think that such plants give prudish Creationists something to contemplate: what exactly was the Creator trying to express? The importance of family values? Modesty? Perhaps some of those intelligent design advocates could provide some answers?

[Robbie]

LOL, I love blogging. Learn something new everyday.

As far as ID goes, I think the plants are pretty much Catholic in nature. Sure, there's sexual imagery, but it's surrounded by the stench of death.

And that's Catholicism all over =)