Bad Pictures of Famous People, IV

The Malcontent mounted neither the stage nor Ian Somerhalder himself on Saturday night, but I did have an encounter sufficiently close enough to warm the chilly evening air.

Thanks to the logistical efforts of some D.C. friends, I saw "Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead," and then played stage-door queen afterward in order to snap a couple of pics.

"Other than that, how was the play?" After the jump ...

If you plan to see the show, there might be some spoilers in this, but most of this looks like it's "out there" already.

First, all you really need to know is this: Yes, there is a scene with Ian shirtless.  And there are three good man-on-man kisses.

The bad news is, Eddie Kaye Thomas was doing the kissing, not Ian.  The good news is, he was kissing Logan Marshall-Green, a real cutie from "The OC."  ("Don't call it that."  —Michael Bluth)  The bad news is, Marshall-Green's character was a nerd with horn-rimmed glasses and greasy, slicked down hair.

The show, as I have previously posted, is an unauthorized take on what life might be like for the "Peanuts" gang when they are in high school, 10 years after the events of the comic strips.

"CB" (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is bemoaning the loss of his beloved beagle, which was put to sleep after getting rabies and killing the yellow bird that was the dog's companion.  CB's sister (America Ferrera, from "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants") is a goth-wearing performance artist wannabe.  "Van" (Keith Nobbs), as in "Linus Van Pelt," grew up to be a Buddhist stoner who smoked the ashes of his security blanket.  "Tricia" (Kelli Garner), a teenage echo of Peppermint Patty, is a high school "mean girl" alpha-chick with possibly lesbian tendencies, and is always in the company of her friend, Marcy (Ari Graynor), even for three-ways.

Matt (Ian Somerhalder) is a germophobe (and homophobe) jock who hates it when people use the name "Pigpen" around him.  "Beethoven" – think "Schroeder" (Logan Marshall-Green) – is the aforementioned geek who just wants to be alone to play the piano during his lunch breaks, until the kiss with CB that would change his life in many ways.  And finally, Van's sister (Eliza Dushku of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"), whose name I'm sure would be "Lucy," is a pyromaniac who is doing time in a psych ward.  Among the things she has burned: Van's blanket.

"Dog Sees God" doesn't quite know what it wants to be when it grows up.  It is, by turns, a by-the-numbers teen comedy with characters we have seen in dozens of movies before it; a meditation on the dual cruelties of young people and being young; a morality tale that ultimately seems confused about its opinions on homosexuality; and a touching drama with moments of genuine pathos and a few outstanding performances.  (I sure wanted more of Dushku.)

Virtually every resonant Charlie Brownism that I can think of was worked in somewhere along the way, serving as easy laugh lines if you caught the references.  ("You're a homo, Charlie Brown!")

But ultimately, I left feeling somewhat unsettled.  What are we to think when one of the beloved Peanuts characters of our youth takes deliberate actions that have such tragic results for others?  Or when the Peanuts gang smoke pot, have group sex, get drunk and puke, or contemplate suicide?  The tacked-on epilogue didn't do much to ease my discomfort, either.

"Dog Sees God" tries to be a message play in a much more direct way than its "Sesame Street" analog, "Avenue Q."  But whereas "Avenue Q" created a world that had a few bumps and bruises but was still a place you might want to call home, the message of "CB" and his friends seems to be: Stop my adulthood; I want to get off!

Comments

[Queer Conservative]

Ian looks dang good no matter what

[Queer Conservative]

Eddie looks like strung out shit though.

[Barnes]

Andrew Sullivan writes "As for the mainstream, on "Desperate Housewives" last night, there were three separate graphic scenes of two late-teenage boys french-kissing, waking up naked in the same bed together, and mauling each other's necks." Malcontent, let us see, let us see!

[Robbie]

I'm sure one of us will capture the rerun on Saturday.

(I admit, I don't watch DH - a sin against my homosexuality, no doubt.)

[North Dallas Thirty]

Neither do I, Robbie. Sunday night is exclusively devoted to "The Simpsons", praying for a second episode of "The Simpsons", then "Family Guy" and "American Dad". I have no idea what happens after that.

And I agree with QC....Ian looks good, but Eddie looks like some androgynous sick copy of Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice.

[Aatom]

yes, that is truly a Malco-Vision must, I agree. the gay son is very cute. and I live for Bree. she is the type of prim dominatrix-style mother figure that is instant gay icon material.

[Malcontent]

I don't see a rerun Saturday on my channel lineup, so this command performance might have to be yours, Robbie!

[Robbie]

Three Degrees of Robbie - a friend's best friend's son plays the gay son.

Hrm.

I smell interview.

[EssEm]

I have no idea at all who these guys are...Guess I'm out of the cosmic loop.