Oprah's XM Content: 99.777 Percent "Friends"

XM Satellite Radio is paying Oprah Winfrey $55 million, AKA "Stedman's allowance," for what essentially amounts to a day or two of carpet-bomb publicity.

And what do they get in return for the channel to be known as "Oprah and Friends" and set to launch in seven months?  They get half-an-hour a week, 39 weeks a year, of taped programming from Oprah herself.

The rest of the year's 8,760 hours will be filled with such notable radio personalities as Bob Greene, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Dr. Robin Smith, Marianne Williamson and Nate Berkus.  In other words, "Oprah and Friends" will be 0.223 percent Oprah and 99.777 percent "friends."

So what will listeners actually hear from Diva O?:

Winfrey said during a Thursday teleconference that "we have until September" to figure out the format of her show, but she did say it will reflect her typical chats with longtime friend (Gayle) King.

"Gayle and I have said for years it's a shame other people couldn't be in on the conversation sometimes," Winfrey said. "It will be about what's going on in the world, and just us talking about it the way we talk about it, as girlfriends. . . . I think that Gayle and Oprah reality radio is going to be a huge hit."

The fact that Oprah has given essentially zero thought to her radio content hints that this is something of a panic move by XM.  They had been riding high with more subscribers and greater profitability than their slow-off-the-mark competitor Sirius.  But XM was outperformed by Sirius in the fourth quarter of 2005 in new subscribers, and its stock price shed nearly 40 percent in the same period.

Oprah's TV show bags a lot of A-list celebrities, but unless her guests write a fraudulent "nonfiction" book, her interviews somehow manage to leave us knowing less about the interviewees.  That is, when she's actually interviewing her guests and not launching into her typically self-indulgent pedantry.

So what genius at XM thought that the most tedious elements of Oprah would also be the most entertaining?

Comments

[beautifulatrocities]

I imagine her terrified, sycophantic staff runs her show for her, & will do the same for the radio gig. As for Frey, he might as well take the money & run, because he'll never eat anything in this town again. Can you imagine the titanic forces an angry Winfrey could marshall against you to make sure no one touches you? (Which may be why there's so little about Gayle...)

[Dan]

Well, I'd like to agree with ya, but nobody's ever lost money on the Oprah. Girl has ten times the net worth of Mr. Stern, she has to be doin something right.

Plus, compared to what Sirius shelled out for Stern, Oprah was a steal for XM.

[Joe.My.God.]

Seriously, this is like the 20th consecutive bitchy post.
Kinda getting to be a one-note place, Mal.

[Malcontent]

Umm, dude, it is called the "Malcontent." ;-)

[Malcontent]

Dan, where is your pro forma XM disclaimer?

[Dan]

Heh, actually dumped XM bf a week ago. Disclaimer no longer necessary ;)

[Joe.My.God.]

So now he's your XMX.

[North Dallas Thirty]

Can you imagine the titanic forces an angry Winfrey could marshall against you to make sure no one touches you?

Why am I suddenly imagining Oprah as She-Ra?

[Michelle]

It will work. It will sell. Period. After all, it is Oprah. Love her, hate the idea, whatever. It will sell.

[Zack in ATX]

To be fair, Sirius' stock has plummetted as well. Of course they had a big 4th Qtr. With Stern going over, it was inevitable. However, they're still the smaller company, and Stern knows is. Having less than 10% of his audience go with him isn't exactly monumental. XM isn't hemorrhaging money like Sirius is. $500,000,000 for a has been whos career was big in the 80's and early 90's? Good for him, but it will bankrupt Sirius, and they know it. Maybe that's why they're talking about raising their subscription price...or getting another 2.5 million subscribers just to keep the doors open. However, Stern will most likely make around $670m. Let's hope they can get a portable unit that actually gets a live feed like the 3 XM has. Overall, XM is the better company. It always has been...it always will be. It's funny how their subscriptions have fallen off since Christmas. Maybe Stern isn't the juggernaut that he thinks he is anymore.

[Malcontent]

Umm, Zack, don't you think that all commercial activity in the United States might drop off a little after Christmas? I think it's due to a little factor called "being after Christmas."

And I think you don't give Howard enough credit. A survey that was commissioned by the terrestrial radio insustry showed that 86 percent of Americans weren't interested in switching to satellite because of Stern. But that means that 43 million Americans were considering exactly that.

You say Stern was big in the 1980s and 1990s, but I don't think the numbers bear you up. His ratings have been consistently high, with a few fluctations, in just about every market he was on. It was only until his bosses totally pussied under to the FCC and started pulling him off stations that he was beginning to be hurt. (Thanks, Janet Jackson, you fat cow.)

Then they started to slice and dice the content on his show, using different standards than were applied to any other broadcaster. He didn't know from one day to the next what would or wouldn't get bleeped. Then they started to bleep things that he used to be able to say. So I think his listeners would be forgiven for thinking that he wasn't the Howard he had always been.

After one month of listening to him on Sirius, I have to tell you that he and the show are better and funnier than ever. Anyone who think his current subscriber base is a ceiling and not a floor is deluding himself. It's amazing how one's creativity will blossom when half your brain isn't taken up with wondering when the next $1.7 million fine will hit.

[Joe.My.God.]

Howard Stern is absolutely 100% the most unfunny person in the history of this universe and all previous or parallel universes. It's a scientific fact, clinically proven.

[Malcontent]

I'm sure you'd be the world's biggest Stern fan if I had said otherwise.

[Joe.My.God.]

Nope. I made a similar post on JMG about a year ago when the Sirius deal broke. I can understand why some people think he's funny of course. I just don't happen to be one of those folks who are amused by jokes about farting, strippers, and farting strippers. Dull, dull, dull, unless you are a 13 year old boy.

[Dan]

Well, it is a little suspicious that Stern cashed out all of his Sirius stock as soon as he had the opportunity. Doesn't show a whole lot of confidence in Sirius' long-term viability. I can understand cashing out a big chunk, but the whole lot?

Don't worry, Mal. I'm sure XM'll pick Stern right up. You won't lose a day of your farting strippers :)