The Malcontent

McKinney's Basic Instinct

As I write this, Cynthia McKinney and her fellow race hustlers are pleading the notoriously anti-Semitic congresswoman's case in her cop-smacking incident at a news conference before a hallelujah chorus at Howard University.  The case being, naturally, that the cop she physically assaulted was racist (and a far cry from her much more conciliatory "official" statement).

I'll leave my personal feelings about the congresswoman aside for the moment, or the cast of characters backing her up that included the America-hating Harry Belafonte, but I was struck by at least one thing:

Two rationales were provided for McKinney's behavior.  First, that the Capitol Police should be better trained to know who the Members of Congress are because it has a bearing on their safety.  (I'd add that a 10-year political veteran of D.C. like myself also can no longer recognize her after she ditched her trademark braids for a radically different 'do.)  I have also personally witnessed something similar happen to a white senator.

And second, Team McKinney is alleging that the police officer knew who she was and was harassing her merely because of her race.

Now, if you're going to mount a defense in advance of what is reportedly her potential arrest, shouldn't you at least be sure that the two reasons you give aren't directly contradictory?

For the Love of God, Please Hide Your Freak Flag

"WILL & GRACE" SPOILER IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS:

Those of you who are upset that you didn't get to see Britney Spears last night on "Will & Grace" weren't missing much, except maybe for your chance to savage her thespian-lesbian act.

Surprise, surprise, the ultra-conservative co-host of "Jack Talk" was a dyke.  But her acting chops were so weak that I wouldn't have believed Britney as a lesbian, even if she had given Karen Walker's carpet the ol' steam-cleaning.

On the other hand, the character Britney was reportedly supposed to play might have been infinitely more entertaining.

The overnight rating (5.6) was a bit above the 4.0 average "Will & Grace" had been pulling in January, but the episode was a cringe-fest.  I think I laughed once, and that was probably at something Wanda Sykes said.  (I didn't include her in this clip, though.  Gotta cut somewhere.)

I know there are only a few episodes left, but can they drag this thing out behind the barn with a shotgun now?

[Watch video – 9:56, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 9:56, WMV format, low bandwidth]

"A" Is for Alcohol "Adam"

If you're a New York 'mo and you find yourself heartily applauding this guy (at least until his thesis goes all agnostic at the end), then read no further.

But if you're like me – a young-ish professional looking for more ways to meet quality guys in low-pressure settings, and without DJs whose main goal seems to be wreaking permanent damage on your central nervous system – then listen up:

In November, I attended the launch of the Adam New York social network, which was founded by a pleasant young Brit named David Marrinan-Hayes.  There is an online component to Adam at the soon-to-be upgraded website, but there are also monthly real-world get-togethers for those of us who can sever our cyber-umbilicals for a few hours.

The group is open to anyone who lives in, works in or just wants to visit Manhattan to meet like-minded professionals.  It is diverse, friendly and not particularly cruisy – an environment that, ironically, probably makes the cruising easier.

The first Adam gathering started with about 20 people, which has since grown exponentially, leading David to move it to a larger venue in the ultra-swanky Soho House.  David was kind enough to allow The Malcontent to extend 100 invitations (and possibly more if demand is great) to the next get-together:

7 to 11 p.m.
Wednesday, April 12
"The Library" at Soho House
29-35 9th Avenue
New York, NY  10014  [mapquest]

If you would like to attend, you can either register directly online at www.thisisadam.com or email [email protected], and remember to drop our name.  The first 50 attendees get a free glass of bubbly.

Be there, and maybe you'll launch your career as gay New York's next It Boy!

Her Gardener is a Big Fan

After the long-distance bashfest between Joy Behar and Star Jones Reynolds, I've been leaving the View idling in the background whenever I'm working at home. There is something tantalizing about the possibility of seeing people disdained by all of America tear each other to shreds.

As America's Most Famous Glitter Maiden is still recovering from mammary elevation, the girls are joined by a special guest co-host. Today, the lymph is being generously supplied by star Hispanic journalist, Myrka Dellanos.

All the hosts are being very complimentary of their guest . . . and then Barbara Walters opens wide and eats a pump:

"You are such a star in my house, because I have Spanish-speaking . . . *sudden realization* ah, people *mumble* *rapid change of subject*"

Oh, yes. Observe.

[Watch video – 1:00, WMV format]

Gay Bits, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Edition

The Mayor of West Sacramento comes out.  I knew I had seen him at Faces!  [h/t Andy]

"Hostile society" leads to gay depression.  I guess I'll have to start snorting my Wellbutrin now.

The constitution DeBased: Sen. Mike DeWine will co-sponsor anti-gay marriage amendment.

Vin Diesel "slams" but does not deny gay rumors, saying he comes from the "Marlon Brando ... code of silence."  Nice alibi, dude.

BMW is spending its ad bucks in the gay rags, but there's still no pleasing the crybabies.

Robbie's hometown rail authority is just daring the homophobes to stand up and be counted.

Alexis vs Krystle Cage Match! Live! Live! Live!

Though I was little more than an embryo at the time, even I knew watching Alexis Colby go tits over stilletos off a balcony was a seminal event in any young gay man's life.

Yesterday, Entertainment Tonight caught up with former Dynasty stars Linda Evans and Joan Collins as they prepare to hit the boards - and each other - in a touring production of the two-woman show, Legends.

The "Dynasty" divas are currently in rehearsals for Legends, a theatrical comedy about two fading movie stars who hate each other, but are forced to work together because they need the money. It's déjà vu all over again for fans of Alexis and Krystle, as Sylvia (Joan) and Leatrice (Linda) exchange heated barbs and trash-talk each other. Of course, no get-together of the queens of the catfight would be complete without a little mano a mano, and Legends is no exception.

In addition to the ten city tour, a Dynasty reunion special is in the works, expected to air early next year. Though some members of the cast are bowing out (Waiting on that lucrative contract for the next Swamp Thing, Sammy Jo?), the two empresses of enmity have eagerly signed on to star.

[Watch video – 3:29, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 3:29, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (March 31):

1889 - The Eiffel Tower opened in "Gay Paree."

1918 - Daylight Saving Time went into effect throughout the United States for the first time.

1943 - The show "Away We Go" was renamed. It has been known ever since as "Oklahoma!"

1945 - Tennessee Williams’ play, "The Glass Menagerie", arrived on Broadway in New York City.

1976 - The Florida Supreme Court overturned a conviction of "open and gross lewdness" in a 5-2 decision. The defendant, a waiter in a gay bar, had been accused of fondling a customer's pubic area. In the written decision Justice Sundberg wrote that the conduct had to be extremely indecent and offensive, and that in "the dark and crowded recesses of the Yum Yum Tree at 2:00 a.m." it was unlikely that anyone was offended.

1980 - Ontario Provincial Police constable Paul Head is suspended from duty and charged with discreditable conduct after it was discovered he was gay.

1981 - Nancy Reagan told The Globe that gay pride parades are appalling because gays have nothing to be proud of.

1981 - Montana amended its sodomy laws to add a fine of up to $50,000. The sentence of up to 10 years was not changed.

1987 - Legislation barring anyone HIV positive from entering Japan was approved by the Japanese cabinet.

1988 - Marty James of Los Angeles acknowledged having assisted in the suicide of a friend with AIDS, during an appearance on the television show Nightline.

Born on this day (a good day for musicians):

1596 - Rene Descartes
1732 - Franz Joseph Haydn
1929 - Liz Claiborne
1934 - Shirley Jones
1935 - Actor Richard Chamberlain born in Beverly Hills, California. Long a TV heartthrobe (Dr. Kildare) and later dubbed the "king of the mini-series," Chamberlain came out at age 69 in his autobiography.
1940 - U.S. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was born in Bayonne, New Jersey. Frank is the United States' most prominent gay politican, having served in Congress since 1980.
1943 - Christopher Walken
1948 - Rhea Perlman
1948 - Al Gore
1971 - Ewan McGregor
1976 - Colin Farrell

Where's Your Messiah Now?

A study finds that, when it comes to illness, the power of prayer is no damn good at best, and possibly deleterious, at worst.

In other news, researchers are still working to verify whether the Earth is 6,000 years old.

Malconsumer Reports: "Boy Butter"

The field of personal lubricant products these days seems more crowded than ever.  New entrepreneurs are constantly springing up like kudzu to claim their piece of a lube pie worth more than $6.8 quadrillion in sales in the United States alone.  Every month.  And that's just for my house.  (Ba-DUM-bum!)

But seriously, today's savvy lube purveyor is looking for a combination of marketability and quality to help him stand out from the crowd, resulting in a host of product names that are double entendres.  Hell, most of them are so blatant, they're single entendres.

One man who thinks his cream will rise to the top is the hunky Eyal Feldman, founder of and spokesmodel for "Boy Butter."  (By the way, anything you buy at CheapLubes.com, my retailer of choice, is 10 percent off until April 6, if you use the discount code Bunny10.)

Recently, Eyal sent me a sample of his product to give it a test drive, claiming that it would be "life-changing."  (I know, few of you probably want to think of The Malcontent as a sexual creature, but a guy has needs!)

So can Boy Butter make me part with my beloved Pjur Eros?  Find out after the jump.

Hot Times

It's never too early for summer at A&F.  The retailer's new summer collection is out, with the requisite half-naked men to go with it.

Gay Bits, War on "Gay Terrorists" and Seacrest Edition

What kind of asshole could figure out a way to put terrorists and gays into the same category?  Why, Antonin Scalia, of course!  [h/t Queerty]

[UPDATE: Towleroad has more on Scalia and an obscene suggestion he made to a photographer that we're inclined to consider ourselves.]

Oh, and Polish President Lech Kaczynski too.

Australia moves to block gay civil unions.

PAYOR wants to "leave no straight person behind."

Did the Massachusetts high court just "un-marry" me and many others?  For the record, I still intend to reside in Massachusetts.  Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

We love Tori!  On the two writers of her new VH1 show: "They're gay and fabulous," she said. "Who better to write for Tori Spelling?"

"The Evidence" features the ol' gay-boxer gambit.

Do you think he threw up a little bit in her mouth?

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (March 30):

1727 - In England, Charles Hitchin, who was a regular at several molly houses, was turned in by a remorseful partner from the previous evening. He would be found guilty of attempted sodomy and fined 20 pounds, sentenced to six months in prison, and forced to stand in the pillory.

1858 - Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania patented the writing device we call the pencil.

1867 - Alaska was purchased from Russia for two-cents an acre.

1964 - The original "Jeopardy!" debuts on NBC.

1977 - "Rich Girl" (Daryl Hall & John Oates) and "Dancing Queen" (Abba) are #1 and #2 on the music charts.

1981 - U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot in the chest by a would-be assassin.

1981 - In Toronto the trial begins for the alleged keepers of Barracks steam bath begins. Includes gay activist George Hislop and four others. Charges arose from raid December 9, 1978.

1985 - Ed Davis, former Los Angeles Chief of Police, publicly blasted anti-gay politicians as a "bunch of maladjusted jerks" and refused pressure from evangelical groups to refuse donations from gay organizations. He closed a letter to the American Coalition for Family Values writing "I ask you to take a few minutes to read two short documents with which you may not be familiar-The Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights." He confused glb activists with his statements - he had formerly been one of the chief political enemies of gay rights in California.

1992 - Debra Chasnoff thanked her lover of twelve years after receiving an Academy Award for her documentary short film Deadly Deception: General Electric, Nuclear Weapons, and Our Environment.

1992 - Jodie Foster and a host of others win Oscars for "Silence of the Lambs."

1994 - Furniture chain IKEA became the first company to air a television commercial in the US which featured a gay male couple.

2004 - Prudential Financial was accused of discrimination after refusing to provide benefits to the legally married spouse of lesbian retiree.

2004 - The FBI and Colorado's Joint Terrorism Task Force investigates a hate mail campaign targeting gays in the Denver area.

Born on this day (a good day for musicians):

1853 - Vincent van Gogh
1930 - Peter Marshall ("Hollywood Squares"), birth name: Pierre LaCock. Seriously.
1937 - Warren Beatty
1940 - Astrud Gilberto, bossa nova singer
1945 - Eric Clapton
1957 - Paul Reiser
1964 - Tracy Chapman
1964 - Ian Ziering ("90210")
1968 - Celine Dion
1979 - Norah Jones

OK, "Lost" Fans, Have At It

WTF??:

[Watch video – 0:47, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 0:47, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Idol Postscript

Queerty digs up a reason why you might not want to support Mandisa.  Damn.  I used to love that BBW.

Meanwhile, GayPatriot is on the same page with us about where "Idol" seems headed.  The husband and I were sitting on the sofa last night critiquing each contestant, as per usual, and we could predict virtually every word that was spoken by Simon Cowell, the only truly honest judge.  The song choices were baffling, the performances were shockingly bad, and even the potential winners are starting to look like losers.

My bottom three tonight: Lisa Tucker, Ace, and Kellie Pickler (although I think America will choose Bucky).

Whom Did She Mean To Hit?

From today's Hotline Last Call (sub. only): "In a case of mistaken identity, Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) apparently punched a Capitol police officer. No response yet from her office."

W&G Q&A

Question:

Answer: Crossroads.

Heckuva Puzzling Interview, Brownie

I was filled with a mixture of pity and revulsion as Stephen Colbert interviewed Mike "Brownie" Brown, former head of FEMA, last night.

On one hand, he seemed completely willing to accept the mantle of whipping boy for the debacle of the response to Hurricane Katrina, despite the evident culpability of a host of characters.  On the other hand, whether he was joking or not, he seemed comfortable having the blame shifted to his former boss, DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff.

Brown's glib attempts to make light of his situation and his nervous laughter were more than a little disgusting, even in the context of a comedy show.  I kept thinking about the hundreds of needless deaths, and here was this guy who was in charge of coordinating the federal response chortling away on national TV just five months later.  It merely reinforced perceptions of the ineptness that precipitated his downfall.

Yes, FEMA was but one player in the Katrina cluster-fuck.  Compounding the mistakes of a brainless FEMA administrator were also a feckless governor and a clueless mayor.  (Katrina was a tragic "perfect storm" in many ways.)

But if Brown's goal last night was to rehabilitate his character and integrity, then I don't think he did himself any favors.

[Watch video – 7:11, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:11, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Of course, it wouldn't be a "Colbert Report" without some hilarious allusion to homosexuality.  Colbert brought out a thinly disguised David Cross as "ultra left-wing radio talk show host Russ Lieber," putatively to discuss school vouchers.

But the interview soon morphed into a bizarre and tangled debate on gay adoption.  See for yourself.

[Watch video – 4:46, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 4:46, WMV format, low bandwidth]

One Day in Her Gay-Diva Life

Music blogger extraordinaire Arjan Writes has an exclusive chat with pop superstar Anastacia.  The indomitable diva discusses her exalted status among the gays.

Choreography Gone Wild

Last night's American Idol . . . I have not the words. Limbs were flying.

Paris Bennett - Mute her singing. Turn on the Milkshake song. Tell me we're not watching the creepy premonition of a nine year-old who is one golden pole away from a career in the whoring sector. What. Was. That?

Elliot Yamin - The whitest white man this side of bleach bopping around in hip hop mode to a song that is decidedly not rap.

Mandisa - She sings! She dances! She hails taxis!

Ace Young - We need to have a long talk about Ace. Always tinged with slight gay voice when speaking, it has spread like wildfire into his actual singing. We'll not discuss the gay face. I swear it wasn't there when the season began, but that boy is now sunnier than Doris Day and Rock Hudson. During his rendition of "Drops of Jupiter," he sings "her hair" while fondling his own with an effeteness to threaten gravity. We'll definitely not discuss the "permanent scar" bit. Holy wow.

As far as Paula goes . . . let's just say the dripping was audible.

[Watch video – 7:18, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:18, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (March 29):

1951 - The Rodgers and Hammerstein musical "The King and I" opened on Broadway.

1959 - Some Like It Hot, featuring cross-dressers Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, is released.

1976 - The constitutionality of Virginia's sodomy laws was upheld by the US Supreme Court.

1985 - The Los Angeles Times announced its support of gay rights and urged the US Supreme Court to take a stand on gay issues.

1988 - Georgetown University lost an eight year legal battle to avoid providing facilities and financial support to campus gay organizations.

1989 - Jodie Foster wins the Best Actress Oscar for "The Accused."

1990 - NGLTF director Urvashi Vaid interrupted a speech by President Bush, accusing him of a lack of action on AIDS.

1991 - OutRage held a zap at Home Office to protest legal attempts to prevent lesbian and gay couples from adopting or becoming foster parents.

1994 - Joint session of the Massachusetts legislature approves the state's gay marriage amendment. It needs approval again during 2006 in order to be sent to the voters.

Born on this day:

1867 - Cy (Denton True) Young, Baseball Hall of Famer
1918 - Pearl (Mae) Bailey
1927 - John McLaughlin, TV host
1943 - Eric Idle
1956 - Kurt Thomas, gymnast
1957 - Christopher Lambert, actor
1963 - M.C. Hammer
1964 - Elle McPherson
1968 - Lucy Lawless
1976 - Jennifer Capriati