Choreography Gone Wild

Last night's American Idol . . . I have not the words. Limbs were flying.

Paris Bennett - Mute her singing. Turn on the Milkshake song. Tell me we're not watching the creepy premonition of a nine year-old who is one golden pole away from a career in the whoring sector. What. Was. That?

Elliot Yamin - The whitest white man this side of bleach bopping around in hip hop mode to a song that is decidedly not rap.

Mandisa - She sings! She dances! She hails taxis!

Ace Young - We need to have a long talk about Ace. Always tinged with slight gay voice when speaking, it has spread like wildfire into his actual singing. We'll not discuss the gay face. I swear it wasn't there when the season began, but that boy is now sunnier than Doris Day and Rock Hudson. During his rendition of "Drops of Jupiter," he sings "her hair" while fondling his own with an effeteness to threaten gravity. We'll definitely not discuss the "permanent scar" bit. Holy wow.

As far as Paula goes . . . let's just say the dripping was audible.

[Watch video – 7:18, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:18, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Comments

[Chad]

Falling on a t-bar playing basketball?? That's no way to get a scar. Lie and say it was a motorcycle crash or a bar fight.

... Might as well say your kitten got too playful and scratched you somethin' fierce.

[Toby]

Were we watching the same program? Paris Bennett was AWESOME!

[Robbie]

Oh, she had the best performance, hands down.

I just soooo did not understand what was going on with the dancing last night. Most of it was a surreal car crash. Paris sang like I've never seen her sing, but she looks like she's about ten years old. I was ever so confused.

[Aatom]

Paris was the best performance by far. and, incase you old fogies haven't noticed, most of the hoochie r&b artists that shake their asses like that all over BET are the same age. She's definitely going to go far.

I thought Paula was going to hand Ace the keys to her hotel room at the end of his performance. "why don't you explain that scar to me sometime, big boy." does anyone at all take her seriously as a judge? Just keep her sedated and seated if possible so she doesn't end up raping somebody onstage.

Mandisa was disappointing, because I really like her and Shackles. But the arrangement was atrocious, and she wasn't quite hitting the highs right.

I think they're all exhausted and the judges (the real judges, not crazy Paula) are turning up the heat to shake them a little and crank up the pressure. It's starting to show. I think it's a really weak group this season in general.

[Robbie]

I just assume Paula took up standing while delivering to her remarks, because a seat full of Paula puddle is just plain uncomfortable to be in.

Eew.

Paris is so young looking. I agreed with Simon. Her singing was fantastic, but that dancing was the definition of precocious. When I see someone like Beyonce do that, I think sexy. When I saw Paris, I was hoping security thoroughly checked the sex offender registry before they let the audience through the doors. It skeeved me out.

I was with Randy on the singing. The song choices weren't good at all. After all three of the judges bashed around the first few contestants, they all got very, very nervous. Ace was trembling like a chiuaua by the end of his performance. He was either on speed or his ninth cup of coffee. Katharine was uncharacteristically wooden, and her smile seem plastered on. She did not look comfortable at all.

They were all like that to some degree.

[Chad]

Dude.... you just used the phrase "Paula puddle".

What's wrong with you???

[Tim]

I don't know, I have been studying Ace VERY closely and I see what you are saying ( the effeminate stuff). However, I just think that he is a dumb straight guy who is letting some girl influence what he does during his performances. I have to believe something like that or I can't watch him

[el polacko]

once again, they all exposed their lousy taste with the song choices .. kelly's was at least SUPPOSED to be a novelty number ..
paris was having fun, but still no great shakes (milk or otherwise) .. mandisa went WAY wrong singin'bout jesus .. ace had so much product in his hair i was afraid we might be in for a michael jackson-inspired firestorm if any stray sparks were to hit him (anyone else seen the pic of ace with short hair making the rounds ? MUCH better)
oh.. and he's not much of a singer
(gay-voice or not)..
chris' one-trick pony, sexy as he is, is getting tiresome ... katherine i just don't get at ALL .. lisa ? eh ... taylor : weak again ... poor elliott should ignore any advice, he doesn't need to hip-hop-up his image. he's still the best 'vocalist' not that that matters a whole lot. after all, this is just another "reality" show. when is 'project runway' coming back ?

[louis]

According to the gossip mill the girl who may very well be of a highly influential nature in Ace's life, is none other than one, Essence Atkins of UPN's "Half and Half" fame. Apparently Ace enjoys a little hazelnut half and half within all those cups of coffee he indulges.

[Carl]

I thought Elliott did a really great job making an overplayed song more unique. He wasn't perfect by any means, but he was very energetic and fun to watch in a night of drab performances. I'd love to see him just crooning every week, but if you do that on American Idol, you will be panned as "boring" and voted out immediately. Elliott has seemed so nervous the past few weeks. I thought this week he really connected with the audience, and was more confident. I always enjoy his singing, and his low-key yet goofy personality. Elliott and maybe Taylor are the only people I enjoy this season. I hope if any of you are Elliott fans you'll vote for him next week, because a lot of people don't vote for him.