A Medicinal PSA

A tip from the newly experienced:

Never, under any circumstances, accidentally dry swallow an aspirin.

I can now say with some authority that wandering through life feeling like you're having a twelve hour long severe heart attack is far less entertaining than you'd think it'd be.

Also, a hospital nurse will laugh at you when you tell her what you've done.

Perhaps if I had spent my youthful clubbing days in a more pharmaceutically productive manner I might have learned the lessons needed to avoid this sort of incident.

(I'm feeling much better now)

Comments

[Scott A]

OMG, I've got a story to follow that. During the summer of my freshmen year as an undergrad I swallowed a Minocyclin (read: acne pill) and I didn't take a full 8 oz glass of water with it as the bottle said to do. Anyway, I happend to sneeze about 30 minutes later and the pill capsule, that was still stuck to the wall of my throat, broke open shooting the white powder into my nasal cavity where it preceded to burn painfully for about 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, as the pain intensified, I convinced my new roommate to take me to the local hospital where I told the nurse about my problem while crying. I sat down and some guy came up to me and asked me what I had "really" done, he told me I needed to quit the cocaine if I wanted any chance at a normal life. I kept telling him what had happened and he patted me on the back, it was so sad but funny at the same time. Anyways, the Dr. ended up checking me for drugs too but then believed my story and gave me a nasal swab of anthestic jelly which quickly numbed my nose. So yea, drink lots of water when taking pills...

[Queer Conservative]

Scott, you should heed the words of Sam Kinison, who said there's no happy ending to cocaine Minocyclin. You either die, go to jail, or else you run out of cocaine Minocyclin.

And Robbie - perhaps you should consider chewable baby aspirin. :-)

[Aatom]

hmm. I'd love to comment here but can't really think of anything to say that wouldn't incriminate me somehow.

so I'll just say I'm glad you're feeling better. ya big sissy.

;)

[Robbie]

Scott - Ouch.

QC - Pthhhhhhpt.

Aatom - I am not a sissy! Unless I'm sick. Then I devolve into a five year old and whine a lot. But that doesn't make me a sissy! Hrmph.

[Gus]

Wrap it in a piece of cheese and have someone shove it down your throat.

[Queer Conservative]

That only works a few times Gus. Eventually they figure out how to eat the cheese and spit out the pill.

[Chad]

Scott, I'm sorry. But all just about laughed out loud reading that story.

... Out of compassion and sympathy of course.

[Chad]

I just about....

Damn alcohol.

[Dan (AKA GayPatriotWest)]

That is so Robbie.

My sympathies and kisses.

[Jack Malebranche]

One time, when my wisdom teeth were coming in, I was popping cheap aspirin like candy. It became a joke, because they weren't doing a damn thing. SO I kept popping them, and laughing. As in, 4-6 at a time. (I was maybe 19)

Cut to me in a skanky residence hotel in Harlem, literally throwing up bile into my only saucepan, because I couldn't get up without passing out, for 12 hours.

Just thought I'd share.

All of the other good stories from my NYC days...well...I'll follow Aatom's example. I would just offer that if someone ever offers you punch and there is white dust on the bottom of the bowl, that you don't dive right in and try to get the most of the dust...because it is already dissolved in the punch, dipshit. That was a very, very long time ago.

Fortunately, the cab driver didn't listen to me when I begged him to take me to the emergency room. That would have been tricky to explain...

[Queer Conservative]

Oh Jack, you brought back memories of parties in New Orleans I went too. Good times, good times.

[Jake]

Um Gus, are we talking about a pill here? Or something else?

What was that address again?

[North Dallas Thirty]

This is the first time I've walked into a room and felt absolutely virginal.