The Malcontent

Mal's Space

I have been reading some articles lately and have learned that, in the future, we will all be judged not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our page on MySpace.com.

I went and designed me one of them-there things (although I use "design" in the loosest possible sense), but it wasn't until I read The PEN15 Club today that it even occurred to me to go grubbing for "friends."

So I'm grubbing away.  Validate me.  Love me.  If not me, then love Bubbles.  Or Robbie.  They're both cuter than me anyway.

Then someone please explain to me what all the fuss is about.

[Mal's MySpace page]

Weepin' Wilbur

Imagine a locomotive a mere mile from the station, just ready to pull in at the close of a long journey. Now imagine that locomotive plowing into three dozen cars at the final crossing with flaming human wreckage everywhere. This is how we know we're watching the late stages of American Idol.

St. Katharine of the Mammary proves some Whitney songs need more intravenous crack than others. Smurf-hobbit hybrid, Elliot Yamin, sings with enough vibrato to imperil the Brooklyn Bridge. Kellie Pickler threatens a broken high-note that, if rendered in a barn, would have the pickled trailer whore vanishing in the resulting stampede. Chris sings a song that reminded us of that wretched film where a ten ton Marlon Brando rolled around in bed with Faye Dunaway. No. Never. Some memories need never be dredged.

None of this stopped a moist, stomping Paula from whinnying for more and breaking down under the onslaught. She claps, she sobs, she looks for the oat bucket. It's always the god awful shows we savor most.

[Watch video – 9:51, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 9:51, WMV format, low bandwidth]

A Taylor-Made Idol?

I think Robbie might bring some "American Idol" highlights today – including a Paula montage that will showcase her mysterious blubbering after Elliott's performance, and stomping her feet after Chris sang like a horse that knows how to do math.

But I wanted to provide the latest dialidol.com update:  It shows Kellie and Paris battling it out for the bottom spot, with Paris the one who will be going home.  It continues to baffle me how Americans are so mesmerized by the ditzy, daffy blonde that they simply can't hear her terrible singing.  I've heard racist jokes that were less off-key than she was the past two weeks.

Meanwhile, Taylor continues to have a very slight edge on Chris for first place, with Elliott not far behind.

If that spastic freak wins, I think I will finally be cured of my "Idol" addiction.

Quote of the Day

"You know, I think that I ... you'll have to ask him or his office." — Sen. Hillary Clinton, when asked why her husband's new Smithsonian portrait shows the former president with no wedding ring

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (April 26):

1757 - Paulus Hicken van Amsterdam was acquitted of seduction to sodomy in Frisia Netherlands.

1865 - John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln’s assassin, was surrounded by federal troops in a barn in Virginia. He was shot and killed, either by the soldiers or by his own hand.

1937 - The German Luftwaffe (air force) destroyed the Spanish town of Guernica.

1964 - The Rolling Stones released their first album, The Rolling Stones.

1975 - The Colorado Attorney General ruled that same-sex marriages were illegal and ordered Clela Rorex of Boulder to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

1977 - Studio 54 opened in New York.

1980 - CBS Reports aired "Gay Power, Gay Politics" hosted by Harry Reasoner. It resulted in openly gay reporter Randy Alfred presenting a 9,000 word complaint with the National News Council, accusing CBS of biased and potentially harmful journalism. Producer George Crile had presented S&M as an activity so dangerous that there were S&M parlors which had doctors and nurses on duty, and interviewed a man who claimed that it was the sort of thing that everyone who was gay participated in. San Francisco journalist Phil Bronstein recognized the torture chamber as The Chateau, which was exclusively heterosexual. San Francisco mayor Diane Feinstein wrote a scathing letter to KPIX, saying it was unfair to present glory holes, bathhouses, S&M, sex in parks and toilets as typical of the gay experience.

1980 - Maureen Reagan addressed a group of gay Republicans in Los Angeles, telling them her father Ronald Reagan believes in fair play.

1986 - The worst nuclear power plant accident in history occurred at Chernobyl, near Kiev, U.S.S.R.

1993 - The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum opened in Washington D.C. Despite efforts to include gays, the difficulty museum officials faced in finding and authenticating materials kept the gay displays to a minimum. Most of the difficulty stemmed from the need for gay concentration camp victims to destroy evidence of why they had been imprisoned.

1994 - Gay youth testified before the Philadelphia Board of Education about harassment and violence they had experienced because of their sexual orientation.

1994 - The first multi-racial elections were held in South Africa.

Born on this day:

1785 - John James Audubon
1886 - Gertrude "Ma" Rainey, African American blues singer
1917 - I.M. Pei
1933 - Carol Burnett
1938 - Duane Eddy
1942 - Bobby Rydell
1944 - Giorgio Moroder
1947 - Donna De Varona
1960 - Roger Taylor (Duran Duran)
1962 - Michael Damian
1963 - Jet Li
1967 - Kane
1970 - Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins
1982 - Jon Lee
1983 - Jessica Lynch

Gratuitousness

I know we have been a bit skin-deficient around here lately, at least, as far as political blogs go.  Let's face it, we're no Made In Brazil, Oh La La Paris or Fleshbot.  Hell, we'd even make a piss-poor Rod 2.0.

But I just had to share a spread from the May issue of Out magazine.

Look, I don't know who this Yves Saint Laurent person is, and I don't much care.  And I couldn't tell his summer collection from a stamp collection.

All I know is, I'm all for fashion that consists of, well, pretty much no clothing whatsoever.

I'm serious.  Can someone explain this to me?

Hot Scott Pic of the Game - April 25th

You know you've missed him.

Federal Censorship Commission

Looks like we're about to get five more years of theocratic rule at the FCC:

The President intends to nominate Kevin J. Martin, of North Carolina, to be a Commissioner of the Federal Communications Commission, for an additional five-year term expiring June 30, 2011. Upon appointment, he will be redesignated Chairman. Mr. Martin currently serves as Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission.

Afternoon Soap Snack

Leaving the television on mute in the afternoon while working rarely yields anything of quality, but occasionally the video gods are kind.

What is going on in these All My Children scenes, I couldn't tell you. Who these characters are, I cannot say. One of the actors is apparently model Justin Bruening.

None of this is important. What is relevant is two built, muscley, shirtless, sweaty men playing basketball and threatening to strangle one another.

I thought the magically appearing chest sweat after commercial break was a nice touch.

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Acro-Nimwits

I'm sorry, but this is just fucking retarded:

"As more LGBTQ [lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual, queer] people have children, there is an inherent tension between preserving that adult community and shifting towards a culture that includes children - and in some ways that means altering the meaning of the Castro to include the needs of children."

I don't mean that what's happening to the Castro is retarded, but what's happening to our language.

I know I've used "GLBT" before, but I'm more than a little concerned that the activists are Balkanizing us by acronym.  We really must stop looking for differences between us, or inventing new ones.  (Listen up, Mike Rogers!)

Apparently feeling that no letter of the alphabet should go unused, some of the more militant among us are even trying to elbow "LGBTQQIP" into the vernacular.  Is anyone aware of even longer acronyms?  (There is even a subtle and objectionable statement of political correctness in putting the "L" in "LGBT" first, even though there are roughly twice as many gay as lesbians.)

As an American, I have internalized the "Melting Pot" from a very early age.  I am always more interested in that which unites, rather than divides, us.

So from now on, when I mean "gays," I will say "gays."  When I mean "lesbians," I will say "lesbians."  When I mean "bisexual" or "transgendered," I will say "bisexual" or "transgendered."  And if I slip up, please sic the language cops on me!

Four Wicked Step-Sisters

It is the gay fairytale that dare not speak its name, and parents are pissed:

A grouchy queen tells her lazy prince-son that it’s time he thought about marriage. "Very well, Mother," he replies, "I must say, though, I’ve never cared much for princesses."

And this, dear readers, is exactly the conversation a newly out gay man has with his older gay friends. That swamp of subtext aside . . .

It leads to a fictional royal gay marriage in the fanciful children’s book King & King, written and authored by Dutch collaborators Linda de Haan and Stern Nijland, and the source of a bitter battle in Lexington Massachusetts - where on March 24th at Estabrook Elementary School, Heather Kramer cracked open the colorful book and read it to her second grade class.

You just knew the Dutch were behind this. There being quite a bit of controversy surrounding the book, a subject as sensitive as this requires thoughtful, nuanced debate by learned, trusted figures of national stature.

In that spirit, I bring you the King and King controversy, as explained by the View women.

[Watch video – 4:33, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 4:33, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Drive-By Blogging

Miserable old troll Mike Rogers, the Abu Musab al-Zarqawi of the gay blogosphere, is up to his old tricks.  I'm not sure what to call it anymore, because it isn't really even an "outing" campaign: His latest victim was never "in."  (And no, Mike, it isn't "reporting."  Your partisan hackery is a brown santorum stain on real journalists everywhere.)

The case for the prosecution this time seems to be that his target works for a guy who doesn't want the international community to be associated with a group that has had past ties to pedophiles, and he's also supposedly a bit brusque – according to a hard-left New York publication, that is.  Rogers apparently hasn't worked with many PR folks before.

Mike Rogers eats up to three square meals a day.  Meanwhile, 842 million innocent people are starving around the globe.

There truly is no justice in this world.

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (April 25):

1901 - New York became the first state to require license plates on cars.

1928 - The first seeing eye dog was presented to Morris S. Frank.

1956 - Elvis Presley's Heartbreak Hotel went to No. 1.

1959 - The St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping.

1978 - St. Paul, Minnesota votes to repeal its four-year old gay-rights ordinance by a margin of 2-1.

1977 - McDonalds sought an injunction forbidding Bob Brandon, a former "Ronald McDonald" who had recently come out, from dressing as Ronald McDonald or implying that Ronald McDonald is homosexual.

1978 - Inspired by the repeal of Miami's gay rights ordinance, voters in St. Paul Minnesota voted to repeal their gay rights law by a two-to-one margin.

1979 - Jury selection began in the trial of former police officer and city supervisor Dan White, who killed San Francisco mayor George Moscone and out gay city supervisor Harvey Milk. Among those selected was a retired police officer who was a friend of White's uncle. City police officers had contributed $100,000 to White's defense fund.

1989 - The Advocate ran a cover story titled "Married with Boyfriend" which denied the existence of bisexuals and suggested that all polyamorous relationships are sick.

1990 - Violeta Barrios de Chamorro was inaugurated as president of Nicaragua.

1993 - The third March on Washington for GLB rights was held, with an estimated 750,000 attending.

2002 - In Honduras, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes (TLC) was killed in a car crash.

2003 - Sinead O'Connor announced on her Web site that she was going to retire.

Born on this day:

1908 - Edward R. Murrow
1918 - Ella Fitzgerald
1930 - Paul Mazursky
1932 - Meadowlark Lemon
1940 - Al Pacino
1945 - Stu Cook
1945 - Björn Ulvaeus (ABBA)
1946 - Talia Shire
1964 - Hank Azaria
1964 - Andy Bell
1969 - Renée Zellweger
1970 - Jason Lee
1980 - Jacob Underwood
1983 - Toby.  I own condiments that are older than him.

Sir Elton Visits Lady Ellen

I'm afraid at some point we'll need to discuss his shoes and debate the merits of whether or not an intervention needs to be happening.

Adidas of Great Hideousness aside, Elton John dropped by Ellen today to discuss the legalities of gay marriage in Britain and the resulting wedding and domestic bliss with new husband David Furnish. The audience was also treated to a small clip of his upcoming musical, Lestat, which will hopefully be far better in New York than the horrific San Francisco version.

His Eltoness polished off the show with the performance of a classic song during closing credits.

[Watch video – 16:33, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 16:33, WMV format, low bandwidth]

But They're Diverse Labia

I love American universities.

Three days before his 10-piece exhibit -- Portraits of Terror -- was scheduled to open at the Patterson Building, Stulman (senior-painting and anthropology) received an e-mail message from the School of Visual Arts that said his exhibit on images of terrorism "did not promote cultural diversity" or "opportunities for democratic dialogue" and the display would be cancelled.

The exhibit, Stulman said, which is based mainly on the conflict in Palestinian territories, raises questions concerning the destruction of Jewish religious shrines, anti-Semitic propaganda and cartoons in Palestinian newspapers, the disregard for rules of engagement and treatment of prisoners, and the indoctrination of youth into terrorist acts [. . .]

Charles Garoian, professor and director of the School of Visual Arts, said Stulman's controversial images did not mesh with the university's educational mission.

Well, the exhibit is certainly no Cuntfest!, but give the man a chance, eh?

h/t QC

World o' Cults

Bill Maher predictably had a few things to say about the birth last week of Suri Holmes Cruise.

Do you think there were any gay jokes?  Naaaahhhhh ...

[Watch video – 1:18, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 1:18, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (April 24):

1800 - Library of Congress was established.

1898 - Spain declared war on the U.S.

1915 - Turks began deportation of Armenians that led to the massacre of between 600,000 and 1.5 million Armenians.

1916 - The Easter Rebellion begins in Dublin, Ireland. Although unsuccessful, the uprising was an important symbolic event leading to the establishment of the Republic of Ireland.

1947 - Author Willa Cather died.

1953 - Winston Churchill was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II.

1987 - Televangelist Jim Bakker was accused by a PTL colleague of making homosexual advances toward him.

1992 - David Bowie and Iman were married. The wedding was announced about a week later.

1993 - The third gay and lesbian March on Washington is prefaced by a mass wedding ceremony held outside the Internal Revenue Service building. Metropolitan Community Church founder Reverend Troy Perry conducts the service, joining 1,500 lesbian and gay couples in marriage, just before midnight, Lesbian Avengers march on the White House in what organizers claim is the largest lesbian demonstration ever.

1994 - Yaroslav Mogutin, Russia's most visible openly gay journalist, makes headlines when he attempts to register his marriage to American artist Robert Filippini. The head of Moscow's Wedding Palace No. 4 politely refuses his application.

1994 - Madonna visited the San Antonio Spurs locker room to congratulate David Robinson on his 71-point performance.

1996 - In Muskogee, Oklahoma, Willie Ray Lampley, Cecilia Lampley, and John Dare Baird were convicted of plotting to blow up gay bars, abortion clinics, civil rights organizations, and government buildings.

Born on this day:

1815 - Anthony Trollope
1934 - Shirley MacLaine
1936 - Jill Ireland
1942 - Barbra Streisand
1945 - Doug Clifford
1952 - Jean-Paul Gaultier
1964 - Cedric the Entertainer
1972 - Chipper Jones
1982 - Kelly Clarkson
1985 - Courtnee Draper

How High's the Water, Mama?

I missed my flight yesterday to Andorra (via Barcelona with a three-hour drive), mainly because of the big rain storm yesterday that slowed traffic to a crawl, and the closure of the FDR for construction, which further locked the gridlock.

After finding a non-nonstop through Madrid and arriving five hours late, I thought a nice shower would be a good pick-me-up.

My hotel room's bathroom is pictured at right.  See anything wrong?  That's right, there is no barrier to keep the water in.  The hotel was so booked that I got the last room, which was specially made for disabled people.  By "specially," I mean "sadistic in a way that would make Dr. Mengele proud."

As I showered, the water began creeping farther and farther toward the bathroom door.  I was so afraid that it was going to spill out onto the hardwood floor and flood the people below me that my shower consisted roughly half of getting clean, and the other half of running back and forth to the "high-water line" (marked in red) and dragging the water with my foot, squeegee-like, back toward the drain.

All I could think of was some poor schmuck trying to do the same thing in a wheelchair.  Surely the Europeans are smart enough to have figured out how to be both handicapped-accessible while also not requiring, you know, flood insurance.

Back home tomorrow night.  I'm physically and emotionally spent for many reasons, some of which I'll go into soon enough, so I'll do the lame blogger cop-out and apologize for the "light posting."

Happy Gay Day

TODAY IN HISTORY (April 23):

1789 - U.S. President George Washington moved into Franklin House, New York. It was the first executive mansion.

1872 - Charlotte E. Ray became the first black woman lawyer.

1900 - The word "hillbilly" was first used in print in an article in the "New York Journal." It was spelled "Hill-Billie".

1954 - Hank Aaron of the Milwaukee Braves hit his first major-league home run on this day.

1968 - The Student Homophile League at Columbia University picketed to protest the psychological theory that homosexuality is a mental illness.

1969 - Sirhan Sirhan was sentenced to death for killing U.S. Senator Robert Kennedy. The sentence was later reduced to life in prison.

1974 - Mark Segal's trial on trespassing charges for disrupting The CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite to protest CBS's portrayal of gays began. He was convicted and fined $450.

1984 - Margaret Heckler, Secretary of Health and Human Services, announced that the probably cause of AIDS had been discovered by American and French researchers. She referred to the virus by the name given it by Dr. Robert Gallo, HTLV-III. She predicted a vaccine would be available in two years.

1985 - Coca-Cola announced that it was changing its formula and introduced New Coke.

1987 - William Cruse killed six people and wounded ten others in a shooting spree in Palm Bay, Florida. He stated he did it because people thought he was gay.

1987 - Margaret Thatcher announced to Parliament that Sir Maurice Oldfield, who headed Britain's M16 intelligence service from 1973-1978, was gay. He had died in 1981 at age 65. Thatcher also said that there was no reason to suspect that his sexual orientation made him a security risk. (Oldfield is believed to be the model for George Smiley, a character in John le Carre novels.)

1988 - A U.S. federal law took effect that banned smoking on flights that were under two hours.

1989 - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played his last regular season game in the NBA.

1996 - A New York civil-court jury ordered Bernhard Goetz to pay $43 million to Darrell Cabey. Cabey was paralyzed when he was shot in subway car in 1984.

1996 - An auction of the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' possessions began at Sotheby's in New York City

1990 - President Bush became the first US President to sign into law a bill including the words "sexual orientation," The Hate Crimes Statistic Act. It ordered a study on hate crimes and the compiling of statistics. Representatives from NGLTF and HRCF attend. Unfortunately, it did little good because the Justice Department refused to keep a record of anti-gay violence reported to the Hate Crimes Hotline.

1993 - Sex Is…A Film Exploring the Meaning of Sex and Sexuality and the Lives of Gay Men was premiered at the Biograph Theatre in Washington D.C.

1998 - James Earl Ray died, at age 70, while serving a life sentence for the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray had confessed to the crime and then later insisted he had been framed.

Born on this day:

1564 - William Shakespeare
1791 - James Buchanan, US president (Whether or not he was gay is in dispute.)
1891 - Sergei Prokofiev
1928 - Shirley Temple Black
1932 - Halston
1936 - Roy Orbison
1940 - Lee Majors
1942 - Sandra Dee
1943 - Herve Villechaize
1949 - Joyce DeWitt
1954 - Michael Moore
1955 - Judy Davis
1957 - Jan Hooks
1960 - Valerie Bertinelli
1961 - George Lopez
1970 - Scott Bairstow

Happy Gay Day, Earth-Friendly Edition

TODAY IN HISTORY (April 22): 1864 - Congress authorized the inscription "In God We Trust" on coins minted as U.S. currency. 1876 - Eight baseball teams began the inaugural season of the National League. 1889 - The land rush in Oklahoma began when it was opened to settlers. 1954 - The U.S. Senate Army-McCarthy televised hearings began. 1969 - In Berkeley, a police officer fatally shot a gay man, Frank Bartley, to death. The death was ruled accidental. Gay organizations in the California attempted to call attention to the unusually high number of gay men accidentally shot or beaten to death by police. 1970 - The first Earth Day was observed -- with the purpose of reclaiming the purity of the air we breathe, the water we drink and the environment we live in. With the slogan “Give Earth a Chance,” Earth Day continues to be celebrated on this anniversary or on the vernal equinox. 1976 - Barbara Walters became the first female network television news anchor. 1994 - Richard M. Nixon died of a stroke at the age of 81. 1999 - New Hampshire's ban on adoptions by same-sex couples was overturned by the state senate. The vote was 18-6. 2000 - Elian Gonzalez was reunited with his father. He had to be taken from his Miami relatives by U.S. agents in a predawn raid. 2005 - Zacarias Moussaoui pleaded guilty to conspiring with hijackers in the September 11, 2001, plot to attack American buildings and citizens. Born on this day: 1870 - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin 1899 - Vladimir Nabokov 1904 - J. Robert Oppenheimer 1906 - Eddie Albert 1916 - Yehudi Menuhin 1926 - Charlotte Rae ("Facts of Life") 1928 - Aaron Spelling 1936 - Glen Campbell 1937 - Jack Nicholson 1946 - John Waters 1950 - Peter Frampton Happy Birthday, Shelley!