Paula Abdul: Career Suic-idol

America's favorite toxicomaniac, Paula Abdul, made an especially bizarre appearance on "The Tonight Show" last night.  And for her, that is saying a lot.

Abdul entered in the get-up pictured on the right and tried to defuse Jay Leno's previous jokes about her chemically enhanced state by claiming (jokingly?) to be an alcoholic.

Of course, anyone who pays even fleeting attention to Paula on "American Idol" probably suspects her substance of choice is a bit stronger than hooch.  As my co-blogger told me, it's like "watching a high woman pretending to be a sober person pretending to be a serial drunk."

As a pre-emptive strike against David Letterman's attorneys, she slurred her way through a "Top Five" list of reasons why "drinks" too much.  The audience tried to choke out a few mercy laughs, but you could literally hear the douche chills.  BRRrrrrr ...

Jay also asked her about her "rough week," an allusion to her having suffered an alleged assault, but she wasn't forthcoming on details.  According to UPI:

US Weekly ... said Abdul and her former boyfriend, Dante Spencer, got into an altercation with former CAA agent Jim Lefkowitz at a party Saturday night.

Is that the drug addict's version of "she fell down the stairs"?

[Watch video – 10:52, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 10:52, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Comments

[e.c.]

last week when msnbc's countdown did a very sarcastic story about the nightclub altercation, they actually refered to her as being "hopped-up on goofballs". the woman is a complete train-wreck (and not in the good way). i'm sure it was some pr persons bright idea to have her "play drunk" to diffuse the talk of her obvious substance abuse issues. gee, do you think it will work?

[Brent]

Fawcett and Nicole Smith are alot worse.

[louis]

[wondering in what way could a complete train wreck be good????]

Leno was/is far more annoying than Abdul.

[louis]

[wondering in what way could a complete train wreck be good????]

Leno was/is far more annoying than Abdul.

[tammy]

WOW, SHE IS WASTED OR JUST MILDLY RETARDED

[jenny]

I'm sick of hearing how Paula Abdul has no talent she has slurping skills and slurring skills 2 more than kevin federline so yes shes quite talented. leave her alone just don't forget the coke.

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