Play That Funky Music, Spastic

If Taylor Hicks was charged with crimes against humanity and the police broke down the theater doors to taser him to death, would we really be able to tell the difference? I don't think so either.

They're getting worse, people. Even the humpalicious Chris Daughtry has resorted to screaming and screaming and screaming. Poor Katharine is reduced to showing Taylor how to properly writhe across the floor. Whereas Taylor always appears to be in mid-seizure, McPhee has thrown caution to the winds and seems to be engaging in a direct "Will Fuck For Votes" campaign.

Elliott and Paris . . . eh, one of them had pink heels. It could be either of them. I've stopped paying attention at this point. Mal has his own nightmares regarding Taylor Hicks as depicted on the right. Agreed. We need union grips dropping three hundred pound lights and things before this season goes horribly, horribly wrong and our twitchy little spastic takes home the crown. We pray Dial Idol is severely mistaken.

[Watch video – 7:40, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:40, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Comments

[Queer Conservative]

Worst. Season. Ever.

I loathe Taylor Hicks.

[PatrickP]

I think the crazy lady here at work has gone off her meds because she was starting fights with EVERYONE over American Idol this morning.

[Queer Conservative]

I had to run and hide from the angry cubicle villagers when I said Taylor Hicks should be mercilessly killed. Apparently he's become the new "fave" around my office.

[el polacko]

.. just dropped in from reading comments on several other sites and i'm feeling queasy. time and time again folks out there are saying how 'adorable' they think taylor is... how he 'really seems to be a fun guy' ... that he's 'the only one with any real TALENT' !?!?!
i've certainly been known to be off-base on various matters, but apparently i'm completely out of touch with "reality" and in need of much therapy in order to come to accept that spastic karaoke singers are the new standard in popular entertainment. i'm a sick, sick man. help me, jeebus.

[Queer Conservative]

You're not alone el, you're not alone.

[el polacko]

thanks, QC. your support means more to me than you know. my head hurts.

[Scott A]

Okay, maybe I have too much time and I'm a little perverted but... if you look at http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/ you can see that the contestants voted off in blue form the shape of a rocket ship or maybe a penis with two balls?? hehe... better check it out while you can, after tonight it will be no more. ;-)

[John in IL]

Tayor seems to be really popular with the 50+ female crowd and the thirty-something gay crowd of one(me). Sorry but he is adorable.

[el polacko]

wow... i'm a pretty big perv, scott, but if you're seeing a penis and balls on that page then you need some good good lovin' to relieve the pressure, babe.

[Robbie]

Yeah, Scott, I'm just a little worried about you.

That's maybe a Metroid penis at best.

[jay]

I wouldn't put to much stock into DialIdol's numbers. They say 84% accuracy -- but accuracy to them is saying any of 2 or more potential evictees will leave the show. If one of "three possibles" leaves, they claim accuracy. Just blogged about their number-manipulations on IdolsRising dot com . . . this guy's about as honest as a used car salesman. They get the right person leaving about half the time . . . that's their real achievement.

[Craig Ranapia]

Have they had the ritual rape-murder of the show tune yet? That always has the fascination of watching someone conduct brain surgery with a jackhammer...

[Worth Repeating]

Mal -- I swear on my mother's life I did not read your post before writing my own. I too used the work SPASTIC about Taylor. So ... he must REALLY be spastic! Life's funny.
http://journals.aol.com/gayesteditorever/WorthRepeating/