The Malcontent

The Dean of the Clueless Corps

DNC Chairman Howard Dean sauntered into the friendly confines of "The Daily Show" last night.  The audience dutifully applauded references to President Bush's low standing in the polls, as well as Dean's predictions of Democratic takeover of the House and/or Senate.

But then host Jon Stewart had the temerity to ask just exactly how the Democrats were going to manage not to blow the opportunity before them.

Dean's plan: Let's put, say, four people in every state who will knock on as many as 5 to 6 million doors over the next few years.

"So the Dems are now as powerful as the Jehovah's Witnesses," Stewart said.

No, no, no!  See, this is where the plan gets brilliant.  If they're not home, then you hang this nifty little door-hanger on the doorknob!

But Stewart was having none of it.  When he pressed Dean for an actual message, it was essentially, "We'll be less grafty than the other guy."

Then Dean actually angled the Democrats to the left of President Bush's centrist immigration policy.

Stewart neatly summed things up for Dean: "You are so not taking back the House and the Senate."

(Incidentally, no reference whatsoever was made to Dean's recent, humongous gaffes regarding gays.)

[Watch video – 7:38, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:38, WMV format, low bandwidth]

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In other "Daily Show" news, Stewart took a cold, hard look at the reports of NSA-related phone shenanigans.

Hot on the heels of Administration denials of surveillance of domestic phone calls came a USA Today story last week stating that the National Security Agency has indeed kept a massive database regarding billions of domestic phone calls.

The government explanation has been that the database analyzes only call patterns, and not the content of all the calls themselves, to spot potential terrorists.

As Stewart points out, it's probably cold comfort to those of us whose call patterns are suspicious for any number of other reasons.

[Watch video – 6:22, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:22, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Howard Dean on "The Daily Show" Tonight

Let's hope Jon Stewart gives him the grilling he deserves.

The Yellow Badge of No Courage

Rarely do I find myself in agreement with Richard Cohen – that is, when I'm not so put off by his usual solipsism and general Leftishness that I will actually read him.

But today, in his column on Stephen Colbert's turn at the White House Correspondents Association dinner, he "speaks truth to power" about one of the Left's favorite bromides de jour:

Why are you wasting my time with Colbert, I hear you ask. Because he is representative of what too often passes for political courage, not to mention wit, in this country. His defenders -- and they are all over the blogosphere -- will tell you he spoke truth to power. This is a tired phrase, as we all know, but when it was fresh and meaningful it suggested repercussions, consequences -- maybe even death in some countries. When you spoke truth to power you took the distinct chance that power would smite you, toss you into a dungeon or -- if you're at work -- take away your office. But in this country, anyone can insult the president of the United States. Colbert just did it, and he will not suffer any consequence at all. He knew that going in. He also knew that Bush would have to sit there and pretend to laugh at Colbert's lame and insulting jokes. Bush himself plays off his reputation as a dunce and his penchant for mangling English. Self-mockery can be funny. Mockery that is insulting is not. The sort of stuff that would get you punched in a bar can be said on a dais with impunity. This is why Colbert was more than rude. He was a bully. [snip] He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times. He also wasn't funny.

And if another person cites that Jefferson-quote-that-Jefferson-never-said, "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism," I will throttle them.

[h/t OpinionJournal]

Suck It, Drudge

I know Matt Drudge viscerally hates all things left-wing, a category in which Stephen Colbert is now firmly ensconced, but what is this poorly punctuated bullshit about, exactly?:

So he's trying to humiliate a show that comes on at 11:30 p.m. by comparing it to the prime-time line-up of a competing network?

Isn't it also significant that "The Colbert Report," a relatively new show, is already out-pacing the entire prime-time schedules of CNN, MSNBC and Headline News, and is nearly even with Fox's 11 p.m. hour?

Stupid Walter-Winchell-wannabe queer.

Developing ...

ManBearPig

Sometimes I think "South Park" is getting so bizarre that it will soon resemble its first season about as much as Kenny Rogers today resembles Kenny Rogers from 20 years ago.

Their effort to bring back Towelie last week in a James Frey parody was a painful face-plant of an episode.  While last night's show was funnier, it was no less perplexing.  Follow this, if you can:

The boys run into former Vice President Al Gore, now totally friendless, who has ditched his obsession with global warming in order to relentlessly pursue, Captain Ahab-like, a creature known only as ManBearPig.  The hunt takes them to the "Cave of the Winds," which could just as easily be called the "Cave of the Mistaken Penises."  There is a rock slide, and the boys are trapped.  And at some point, Cartman begins shitting copious quantities of lost treasure.

Really, I'm being totally serial!

I'm not sure how much it helps to see it for yourself, but I thought that at least the cave bit was funny.

[Watch video – 2:59, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 2:59, WMV format, low bandwidth]

[Bonus site: MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com]

Sly Matt & Trey

Mohammed has actually been on South Park all season long!