The Malcontent

The Movement of Misfit Toys

They are meeting. Quietly, without fanfare, roughly three dozen GLBT organizations have gathered in Washington D.C. to discuss the policies and strategies involved in advancing GLBT rights. Though they're not telling, the head of the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce, Matt Foreman, has recently released press materials that should give us all an inkling of their direction.

Let's see here…Iraq is a disaster and the treasury is hemorrhaging red ink to pay for it. Gas prices are soaring. New Orleans remains a shell. Osama taunts us on videotape. Iran's going nuclear. Seven in 10 think the country's heading in the wrong direction. What do you do when you're in power and there's an election just around the corner? You trot out some old diversionary workhorse scapegoats once again.

Like the HRC, The Taskforce does not actually want to discuss gay marriage. Given a national debate and platform, their tactic is not to argue on behalf of gay families but to throw dozens of distractionary cantrips at their audience like a cheap street illusionist. Recently, Andrew Sullivan asked of the HRC, "Why do they exist? And why should any gay person care?" Foreman, the Cardinal Ratzinger of this Queer Conclave, trots out the future of the established GLBT movement:

At between 4-6 percent of the population, we are simply too small to win equality by ourselves. That means we must build alliances and relationships of trust with other communities and causes. Building these kinds of alliances requires more than words, it requires reciprocal work. Bluntly put, the LGBT movement has a long history of asking other causes to fight for us and then not being there when those causes have been under attack.

Read the entire press release. Abortion. Anti-war activism. Now, illegal immigration. The GLBT Establishment has a long and consistent history of supporting liberal and left-wing causes unrelated to the struggle of gay families. As three dozen bodies purporting to support the movement meet, we are dishonestly told by the NGLTF that gay activists don't support enough liberal causes. The answer to the GLBT dilemma is more causes, more coalitions, more money and manpower spent on a laundry list of unrelated movements and groups who may or may not support our cause.

(More ranting and video after the jump.)

Dean's Pink Poodles

You would think the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay rights organization, would be spoiling for a fight over the upcoming reintroduction of the Federal Marriage Amendment. You'd be wrong. Instead, Joe Solomnese and others have bowed to the demands of Howard Dean, with gay families offered up on the sacrificial altar of Democratic politics. Washington Blade editor, Chris Crain, is having none of it.

Rather than actually defend gay families and make the case for gay marriage, HRC continues to argue that the American people don't — and shouldn't! — care about marriage equality for gay couples. "Voters want candidates focused on soaring gas prices, a healthcare crisis and national security," Solmonese says in the release, "not putting discrimination in the United States Constitution." What sort of gay rights strategy is it, when the attention of Americans is focused on our issues, to argue that our rights aren't important, and refuse to engage our opponents in the debate over our equality? [. . .] Can you imagine Martin Luther King, Jr., responding to an attempt to rollback the gains of the Civil Rights Movement by arguing that the issue shouldn't be debated because rising gas prices are more important?

The HRC can't raise money to defeat state level amendments, and now they won't debate gay marriage when the nation and the media are focused on Congressional deliberations over the FMA. They can, however, come to the rescue of abortion activists in no uncertain terms.

What, exactly, is it these people do again? Why do we need them? Aside from the gala dinners, influence peddling, and activists enriched on donations from gay people and their families who suffer real injustices outside the glossy New York - Washington axis.

Dan has additional thoughts on how the HRC and others are pissing away the opportunity to make the case for gay marriage to an attentive national audience. I think now, more than ever, one of my first articles on this blog is becoming increasingly relevant to the movement.

Update: How much do I love Chris Crain? Let me count the ways. Mal linked this earlier article from Crain that I've just now spotted. I've always enjoyed Crain's honesty and integrity when addressing gay issues, even when I've not necessarily agreed with him. However, his recent responses to the DNC's routing of gay partisans mark his Duke of Wellington moment. Crain for President of the HRC!

The Dean of the Clueless Corps

DNC Chairman Howard Dean sauntered into the friendly confines of "The Daily Show" last night.  The audience dutifully applauded references to President Bush's low standing in the polls, as well as Dean's predictions of Democratic takeover of the House and/or Senate.

But then host Jon Stewart had the temerity to ask just exactly how the Democrats were going to manage not to blow the opportunity before them.

Dean's plan: Let's put, say, four people in every state who will knock on as many as 5 to 6 million doors over the next few years.

"So the Dems are now as powerful as the Jehovah's Witnesses," Stewart said.

No, no, no!  See, this is where the plan gets brilliant.  If they're not home, then you hang this nifty little door-hanger on the doorknob!

But Stewart was having none of it.  When he pressed Dean for an actual message, it was essentially, "We'll be less grafty than the other guy."

Then Dean actually angled the Democrats to the left of President Bush's centrist immigration policy.

Stewart neatly summed things up for Dean: "You are so not taking back the House and the Senate."

(Incidentally, no reference whatsoever was made to Dean's recent, humongous gaffes regarding gays.)

[Watch video – 7:38, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:38, WMV format, low bandwidth]

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In other "Daily Show" news, Stewart took a cold, hard look at the reports of NSA-related phone shenanigans.

Hot on the heels of Administration denials of surveillance of domestic phone calls came a USA Today story last week stating that the National Security Agency has indeed kept a massive database regarding billions of domestic phone calls.

The government explanation has been that the database analyzes only call patterns, and not the content of all the calls themselves, to spot potential terrorists.

As Stewart points out, it's probably cold comfort to those of us whose call patterns are suspicious for any number of other reasons.

[Watch video – 6:22, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:22, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Thanks, But No Thanks, Howie

NGLTF returns $5,000 to the DNC, blasting Chairman Howard Dean's complete ignorance of his own party's platform regarding gays:

WASHINGTON, May 8 —In a Christian Broadcasting News segment aired today on The 700 Club concerning how Democrats are reaching out to evangelicals, Howard Dean, chair of the Democratic National Party, said, "The Democratic Party platform from 2004 says that marriage is between a man and a woman. That's what it says. I think where we may take exception with some religious leaders is that we believe in inclusion, that everybody deserves to live with dignity and respect, and that equal rights under the law are important." In fact, the DNC 2004 platform says, "We support full inclusion of gay and lesbian families in the life of our nation and seek equal responsibilities, benefits, and protections for these families. In our country, marriage has been defined at the state level for 200 years, and we believe it should continue to be defined there. We repudiate President Bush's divisive effort to politicize the Constitution by pursuing a 'Federal Marriage Amendment.' Our goal is to bring Americans together, not drive them apart."

Bravo to NGLTF for showing integrity.

On gays, Democrats continue to race Republicans to the bottom.  So to speak.  (Ahem.)

Land of Pink Linc

How can I not adore my home state? On the very same day Peter and crew filed petitions for a destined-to-fail advisory referendum on the November ballot to recommend a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, Democratic Gov. Rod Blagojevich signed an executive order extending benefits to state employees with same-sex partners.

Meanwhile, the Republican candidate for governor, Judy Barr Topinka, stated, "Don't even look at me. I support civil unions." I highly recommend this website "outlining" her views. Hilarious.

Equality Illinois, apparently finding itself with way too much time on their hands because of all this bipartisan tolerance, cheered on a pointless hissy fit after a local urban magazine known for its irreverent tone offered a contest seeking the most outrageous pictures from this year's Pride Parade.

What about the most inspiring (gay student groups) or the most heartwarming or affirming (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays or various religious institutions). Why does the media continue to try to titillate the population at large with what is "outrageous" in our community?

When reached for comment, organizers replied, "This guy's been to a pride parade before, right?" They then vowed to win the contest themselves, wandering off in a flurry of whispers about sequins and rhinestones.

The War Against Sex

As Dan Savage is given to saying, the religious right in America does not merely hate the homosexual agenda, but the heterosexual agenda as well. Opposition to vaccinations against a cancer-causing STD, bans against sex toys, severe issues with even life-saving contraception, and a Kansas crusade against heavy petting, there are few aspects of human sexuality outside of blind missionary that are safe against the prying policemen of American puritanism.

Taken in this context, we gay folk are truly the canaries in the coalmine of sexual freedom. When they came for the anonymous warehouse-sling sex, I said nothing; for I did not go to creepy warehouses with older, vaguely foreign men in boots . . .

I think we all know the poem.

Friday's Real Time with Bill Maher tackled this issue with its panel. Liberals and conservatives holding hands. Mass hysteria. Bill even chimes in on the forest of debate over manscaping.

[Watch video – 6:58, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:58, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Burying, Rathering Than Grinding, Axes

Many on the gay Left have made a cottage industry of demonizing their political opponents, even when those opponents also happen to be gay.  So it was refreshing to see today's WaPo op-ed by Elizabeth Birch, former executive director of the Human Rights Campaign, and her partner, Hilary Rosen, former director of the Recording Industry Association of America.

Rather than continue the Left's pointless and self-destructive crusade against Mary Cheney, the pair welcomed her more public stance on issues of concern to gay Americans:

Mary's presence on the national stage -- the daughter of the vice president of the United States discussing issues related to our lives -- is most welcome and has the potential to be a transforming moment for all Americans. [snip] We applaud Mary Cheney's leap onto the national stage. The timing of the book's release is a welcome boon to the current effort to defeat (for the second time) the White House-endorsed Federal Marriage Amendment, which is before Congress and would put discrimination against gay and lesbian families into the Constitution. The vote has once again been timed by the congressional Republican leadership to exploit the midterm elections. Mary is leading the Cheney family to bring new understanding to dinner-table discussions across the land. We look forward to the Cheney family embracing this teachable moment, not just on the book tour but in election halls, state legislatures and Congress.

Nice to see that "Dear Mary" website hasn't been updated since the 2004 election, by the way.  Then again, leave it to those kooky gays not to let a chance at political posturing go by, at the expense of actually making a meaningful difference.

Sanctity of Marriage Watch

Ricky Santorum, who believes that allowing gay people to marry signals the impending collapse of Western civilization if not the Apocalypse itself, is working hard to re-elect an adulterous House member who allegedly assaulted his mistress.  A spokeswoman had no comment on the obvious incongruity.

This is funnier than anything else I have written this week.

Interspecies Marriage is Apparently OK

"Family Guy" was a little late in arriving to the gay-marriage party, 14 months after their Fox rival, "The Simpsons," married off Patty to professional golfer Veronica.

But, as always, it was worth the wait.

Brian's gay canine cousin, Jasper, brought his hairless, Filipino boyfriend to the Griffins' house, only to announce that they were engaged to be married.

Mayor Adam West, mired in a growing political scandal involving a breakfast cereal-loving frog, decides to sign a bill outlawing gay marriage as a diversionary measure.

Is it ironic that the man who played Batman – whose close relationship with Robin has inspired gay superheroes everywhere – would work to outlaw gay marriage?

I couldn't decide what to leave in and what to cut out of such a "fabulous" (sorry, Stewie) episode, so this Malcovision clip is a big, umm, longer than usual.  *COUGH*

Recommended viewing: Bill Clinton's song about what a fine day it is to be nude (6 minutes in).  Oh, and the instructional film on how to know when "you've got a gay."

[Watch video – 20:39, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 20:39, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Life Is a Gay Highway

In his series Better Know a District, Stephen Colbert takes on Republican Congressman Phil Gingrey, successor of Newt. As always, Colbert quietly mocks his way through the interview using gay marriage and adoption as bait, leading his unsuspecting prey into a heavily homoerotic trap.

Interviews like these prove the old adage that there is little more effective in ridiculing a politician than simply letting him speak.

[Watch video – 6:50, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:50, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Four Wicked Step-Sisters

It is the gay fairytale that dare not speak its name, and parents are pissed:

A grouchy queen tells her lazy prince-son that it’s time he thought about marriage. "Very well, Mother," he replies, "I must say, though, I’ve never cared much for princesses."

And this, dear readers, is exactly the conversation a newly out gay man has with his older gay friends. That swamp of subtext aside . . .

It leads to a fictional royal gay marriage in the fanciful children’s book King & King, written and authored by Dutch collaborators Linda de Haan and Stern Nijland, and the source of a bitter battle in Lexington Massachusetts - where on March 24th at Estabrook Elementary School, Heather Kramer cracked open the colorful book and read it to her second grade class.

You just knew the Dutch were behind this. There being quite a bit of controversy surrounding the book, a subject as sensitive as this requires thoughtful, nuanced debate by learned, trusted figures of national stature.

In that spirit, I bring you the King and King controversy, as explained by the View women.

[Watch video – 4:33, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 4:33, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Sir Elton Visits Lady Ellen

I'm afraid at some point we'll need to discuss his shoes and debate the merits of whether or not an intervention needs to be happening.

Adidas of Great Hideousness aside, Elton John dropped by Ellen today to discuss the legalities of gay marriage in Britain and the resulting wedding and domestic bliss with new husband David Furnish. The audience was also treated to a small clip of his upcoming musical, Lestat, which will hopefully be far better in New York than the horrific San Francisco version.

His Eltoness polished off the show with the performance of a classic song during closing credits.

[Watch video – 16:33, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 16:33, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Flip. Flop. Flip.

Sen. John McCain (R-Pluto) announces he was against the Marriage Protection Amendment before he was for it before he was against it again.

With friends like that ... wait, is he our friend this week?

The Will & Grace Marriages

What happens when opposite sex best friends marry young, and one spouse realizes over time they're gay or bisexual? What happens when they want to keep the marriage together after one partner comes out? Recently, Montel Williams tackled with subject with two couples. The first is a heterosexual man married to a bisexual woman. The second is a gay man and a straight woman.

Watching this, it was difficult for me not to see the heterosexual spouses as doormats, willing to give up anything and everything to hang on to a partner who may not be entirely right for the marriage. Even Montel seems to recognize this, losing patience with his guests entirely at one point.

However, psychotherapist Joe Kort, a contributer to our blog buddy Ex-Gay Watch, sits down with the guests and explains to them, and us, the dynamics of "responsible nonmonogamous relationships," whether they can work or not, and the increasing complexities of coupledom and marriage in an America rapidly expanding to fit many different sexual identities.

[Watch video – 9:06, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 9:06, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Does Howard Read The Malcontent?

A few days ago, I posted about how my opinion of Rosie O'Donnell has been quickly changing for the better.  This morning, Howard Stern followed suit on his Sirius satellite radio show.

A transcript follows after the jump ...

A Northern Shoe Drops

Another conservative is moving not just to block so-called "special rights" for gays, but to take away their existing rights.  (See also: Fletcher item from yesterday.)

Aligning himself with Fred Phelps on the issue of same-sex marriage, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is now confirming Canadian gays' worst fears.

Ottawa and Washington might be 455 miles apart, but they haven't been this close together in a long time.

[h/t Anthony]

No Seriously, Rosie Meant An Actual Cruise

I'll be the first to admit, the idea of a Rosie O'Donnell special documenting gay parenting while traipsing about the Carribbean isn't my first choice of prime time programming. It's not even my eighth.

But ahoy there, matey. There be controversy brewin' on the horizon. It seems the Washington Post's Tom Shales found the HBO special about as entertaining as I did:

It's as if the primary concern of Rosie O'Donnell, who captained the project, was presenting to the mainstream TV audience a scrubbed-up, politely tidy image of gay men and women -- a portrait meticulously devoid of the drag queens, pierced nipples and campy vamping one often sees when a local TV station rushes off to cover a gay-themed event. O'Donnell earns herself a citizenship award or a political correctness award, but the unfortunate byproduct of the consciousness-raising is that it isn't engaging, it isn't much fun, and sometimes it's punishingly platitudinous.

O'Donnell almost robs her subjects of their sexual identity in the pursuit of making them wholesome. In short, there is no gay cruising on this gay cruise.

While many are decrying Shales stereotyping of gays as people who flutter about in a world of queens, piercings, and Broadway street re-enactments, there is a point to his description. The subjects of this documentary are the most boring gay people ever encountered.

(Video and commentary after the jump)

Who Needs Laws, Anyway?

First Gavin Newsom thumbed his nose at California's gay-marriage ban, now he says he will flout any federal immigration law he disagrees with.

Whether you agree or disagree with either of those laws (or potential laws) is irrelevant, but Newsom is a fart-smelling nitwit – albeit a very attractive one.  (I also blame his entirely incorrect tactics on gay marriage for much of the political blowback that eventually followed, far more than I blame Massachusetts judges.)

Heckuva Puzzling Interview, Brownie

I was filled with a mixture of pity and revulsion as Stephen Colbert interviewed Mike "Brownie" Brown, former head of FEMA, last night.

On one hand, he seemed completely willing to accept the mantle of whipping boy for the debacle of the response to Hurricane Katrina, despite the evident culpability of a host of characters.  On the other hand, whether he was joking or not, he seemed comfortable having the blame shifted to his former boss, DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff.

Brown's glib attempts to make light of his situation and his nervous laughter were more than a little disgusting, even in the context of a comedy show.  I kept thinking about the hundreds of needless deaths, and here was this guy who was in charge of coordinating the federal response chortling away on national TV just five months later.  It merely reinforced perceptions of the ineptness that precipitated his downfall.

Yes, FEMA was but one player in the Katrina cluster-fuck.  Compounding the mistakes of a brainless FEMA administrator were also a feckless governor and a clueless mayor.  (Katrina was a tragic "perfect storm" in many ways.)

But if Brown's goal last night was to rehabilitate his character and integrity, then I don't think he did himself any favors.

[Watch video – 7:11, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:11, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Of course, it wouldn't be a "Colbert Report" without some hilarious allusion to homosexuality.  Colbert brought out a thinly disguised David Cross as "ultra left-wing radio talk show host Russ Lieber," putatively to discuss school vouchers.

But the interview soon morphed into a bizarre and tangled debate on gay adoption.  See for yourself.

[Watch video – 4:46, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 4:46, WMV format, low bandwidth]

DNA: The Marriage Issue (Plus Obligatory Sex)

Just in time for spring, the new issue of DNA magazine is all about love and marriage.  Apropos of nothing and dropped in the midst of the nuptial bliss is one of the hot guys of menaustralia.com.

Click to "uncensor" the image (NSFW).

More from DNA after the jump, including why porn star Lucas Ridgeston hung up the cum-rag ... and the gay Catholic blogger who opposes marriage equality.