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July 06, 2009

Simple Explanations, Etc.

I've long thought the criticisms of Sarah Palin were always far more about her detractors than about her. Listen closely to the people who hate her most, and it doesn't take long to find their insecurities and bigotries bubbling to the surface.

There's quite a bit of that happening in the wake of her resignation, and countless experts are certainly spending entirely too much time on this inconsequential figure explaining why their neuroses are justified entirely by the vaccuum of knowledge they seem to have accrued about the woman.

So naturally, I must give this sort of speculation a go. Here's why I think Palin resigned.

She had to pay to go to work. Seriously. $500k in attorneys fees for frivolous ethics complaints by petty, vindictive political opponents? If I had to wake up every morning, stumble into the office, and then pay them $100 an hour for the pleasure of dealing with any of my co-workers, I'd be out. Hell, out? I'd not have shown up at all. My alarm clock would be met with a middle finger and a baseball bat.

It wouldn't be strange or bizarre or erratic or <insert mystery synonym degrading to women here>.

It would be the commonest of common sense. All of us would do it.

See? There's my explanation. And it didn't even require a imaginative, hallucinatory journey up her birth canal brought on by heavy doses of steroids and other assorted, uhm, medicines from demented barebacking lunatics.

I'm pretty sure I win.

July 02, 2009

God Love Her

I still adore Sarah Palin. I can't help it. Not for her political brilliance, mind you, but for her curious ability to drive certain misogynistic, anti-semitic lunatics right off a cliff.

It's like standing in the grocery store, watching a small child fling cans of soup from shelves while dangling off the cart. The parent is fuming and would very much like to beat the child right there in the aisle. But they can't because you're staring straight at them with an expression of barely suppressed glee while the voice in your head is chanting, "Please lose your shit, please lose your shit," like a nascar fan praying for a car crash.

Sarah Palin is my supermarket superstar. She drives all the right people crazy in all the best ways. Her politics are awful, her qualifications for office non-existant, but anyone who can make so many self-puffed douchebags go that shade of scarlet cannot possibly be all bad.

May 12, 2006

Bush Freefall Continues


The latest: 29 percent.

May 09, 2006

Land of Pink Linc

How can I not adore my home state? On the very same day Peter and crew filed petitions for a destined-to-fail advisory referendum on the November ballot to recommend a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, Democratic Gov. Rod Blagojevich signed an executive order extending benefits to state employees with same-sex partners.

Meanwhile, the Republican candidate for governor, Judy Barr Topinka, stated, "Don't even look at me. I support civil unions." I highly recommend this website "outlining" her views. Hilarious.

Equality Illinois, apparently finding itself with way too much time on their hands because of all this bipartisan tolerance, cheered on a pointless hissy fit after a local urban magazine known for its irreverent tone offered a contest seeking the most outrageous pictures from this year's Pride Parade.

What about the most inspiring (gay student groups) or the most heartwarming or affirming (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays or various religious institutions). Why does the media continue to try to titillate the population at large with what is "outrageous" in our community?

When reached for comment, organizers replied, "This guy's been to a pride parade before, right?" They then vowed to win the contest themselves, wandering off in a flurry of whispers about sequins and rhinestones.

May 08, 2006

Burying, Rathering Than Grinding, Axes


Many on the gay Left have made a cottage industry of demonizing their political opponents, even when those opponents also happen to be gay.  So it was refreshing to see today's WaPo op-ed by Elizabeth Birch, former executive director of the Human Rights Campaign, and her partner, Hilary Rosen, former director of the Recording Industry Association of America.

Rather than continue the Left's pointless and self-destructive crusade against Mary Cheney, the pair welcomed her more public stance on issues of concern to gay Americans:

Mary's presence on the national stage -- the daughter of the vice president of the United States discussing issues related to our lives -- is most welcome and has the potential to be a transforming moment for all Americans.


We applaud Mary Cheney's leap onto the national stage. The timing of the book's release is a welcome boon to the current effort to defeat (for the second time) the White House-endorsed Federal Marriage Amendment, which is before Congress and would put discrimination against gay and lesbian families into the Constitution. The vote has once again been timed by the congressional Republican leadership to exploit the midterm elections.

Mary is leading the Cheney family to bring new understanding to dinner-table discussions across the land. We look forward to the Cheney family embracing this teachable moment, not just on the book tour but in election halls, state legislatures and Congress.

Nice to see that "Dear Mary" website hasn't been updated since the 2004 election, by the way.  Then again, leave it to those kooky gays not to let a chance at political posturing go by, at the expense of actually making a meaningful difference.

May 04, 2006

Wasting a Lott


GayPatriotWest points out the crucial distinctions between Trent Lott's problem and gays' "problem."

May 03, 2006

Sanctity of Marriage Watch


Ricky Santorum, who believes that allowing gay people to marry signals the impending collapse of Western civilization if not the Apocalypse itself, is working hard to re-elect an adulterous House member who allegedly assaulted his mistress.  A spokeswoman had no comment on the obvious incongruity.

This is funnier than anything else I have written this week.

April 28, 2006

Brawl Under the Big Tent

Malbug_13Elephant_1As if the conformity mafiosi weren't bad enough with their "gay Republicans are an oxymoron" trope, there has also been a spirited battle raging in the past couple of years – mostly under the radar – within the ranks of gay conservatives, libertarians and Republicans themselves.

At the center of the big shitstorm is Log Cabin Republicans, a storm that only intensified when LCR announced in 2004 that they wouldn't endorse George Bush for President and would instead spend $1 million toward his defeat to "educate" voters on why the Federal Marriage Amendment was such a bad thing.  (For the record, I feel those decisions were fairly sensible, despite the internecine warfare and identity crisis that they were bound to precipitate.)

Perhaps as if to reinforce the sensitivity involved, LCR's press release announcing those ads is buried on their website.  Their press-release archive page begins only after that announcement was made.

The debate centers on whether Log Cabin should be primarily a gay group or a Republican one.  The head of LCR, Patrick Guerriero, planted his flag squarely in the latter camp in a December interview with The Advocate: “Are we first and foremost a Republican organization, or are we first and foremost a gay organization with a role to play inside the Republican Party? The board and I made a conscious decision on the second, and that has affected everything we have to do and continue to do.”

It's against this backdrop that LCR reached out to bloggists to cover their 2006 national convention, which is underway in Washington, D.C.  (Disclosure: I was invited to attend but am unable to travel this weekend.)  Blog-pal BoiFromTroy is filing reports, as is MeetJustin.

The convention's agenda, true to the Guerriero interview, is heavy on gay advocacy and light on issues related to ways to support and elect Republicans who are more friendly to gay causes.  This has prompted Bruce at GayPatriot, one of the most vociferous critics of Log Cabin, to issue a challenge to BoiFromTroy:

[I]f you find any actual Republicans at the Log Cabin “convention”.. please notify the media!!

I’m sure you will trip over the Gay Rights Pro-Abortion Lobbyist and the Neo-Liberal-Neo-Conservative-Neo-Confused Speaker many times, though.

BFT essentially concedes the point:

While the speakers have not been Republicans (sorry Bruce) they see a potential strong ally with Gay Republicans who can certainly do some educating among the members of our party.

As usual, I think I come down somewhere in the middle on this one.

I think advocacy is extremely important: Winning hearts and minds, whether among the public or among elected officials, is indispensable.  But unlike groups such as HRC, which are at least supposed to be bipartisan and advocacy-oriented, LCR was established as a partisan, political entity supporting Republicans.  If it ceases to function as such, it might as well merge with any of the other sundry gay-rights groups out there.  (In fact, the Liberty Education Forum was established parallel to LCR to function as a non-political, 501(c)3, advocacy arm, putting LCR at risk of becoming doubly redundant.)

I do not expect Log Cabin to rush in to support people like Tom DeLay, Rick Santorum or Marilyn Musgrave, nor should they.  But as a gay man who is deeply disillusioned with the current direction of Republicans, I would feel better if Log Cabin spent more of its time and resources at helping build a better GOP: recruiting and supporting more gay and gay-friendly candidates, working harder to build bridges on Capitol Hill, and influencing the legislative process.

Log Cabin Republicans was originally established to say, "We are going to play a unique role in the gay political landscape."  Today, what they are more often saying is, "Ditto!"

Quote of the Morning

"Poor bastard took it better than a gay porn star. ... Wait, he did take it from a gay porn star."

Rep. Linda Sanchez, (D-CA) on Scott McClellan (from "DC's Funniest Celebrity" contest, as quoted by The Hotline, sub. req.)

April 25, 2006

Federal Censorship Commission

Malbug_13Looks like we're about to get five more years of theocratic rule at the FCC:

The President intends to nominate Kevin J. Martin, of North Carolina, to be a Commissioner of the Federal Communications Commission, for an additional five-year term expiring June 30, 2011. Upon appointment, he will be redesignated Chairman. Mr. Martin currently serves as Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission.

April 20, 2006

Flip. Flop. Flip.

Malbug_13Sen. John McCain (R-Pluto) announces he was against the Marriage Protection Amendment before he was for it before he was against it again.

With friends like that ... wait, is he our friend this week?

April 19, 2006

McClellan ... Out!

Malbug_13Scott Bushies talking to Tony Snow as possible WH press secretary replacement.

Now Scott will have to listen to that old bat Helen Thomas only in his nightmares.

April 04, 2006

Self-Loathing Alert

Malbug_13Angry queer still implying that "gay" is the worst possible thing one can be.

April 03, 2006

Number of Tears Shed Here: Zero

Malbug_13Good-bye, Tom.  Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way back to Texas.

March 28, 2006

Liberal McCain Sells Out Conservative Values!

Malbug_13Sen. John McCain is working against Republicans and with lefty Sen. Ted Kennedy to push through the Democrats' preferred position on immigration.  What a liberal sell-out!

What's that, you say?  The blogs in the know today have ditched the McCain-as-maverick storyline and are labeling him as "Bush redux"?  [See here, here, here, here, and here, for starters.]  The senator's most recent "offense" was his decision to speak at Liberty University, leading one to surmise that a liberal's favorite debate is one without an opponent.

So I guess I'm swimming up-meme today.  The blogging lefties are painting John McCain as a fire-breathing wingnut in a coordinated effort that is as laughable as it is hyperbolic.

Look, I carry no brief for John McCain.  I don't like the guy, and I can't foresee any circumstance under which I'd vote for him.  But if we're to believe that they're just now realizing that "every liberal's favorite Republican" is a Republican, then I have some ocean-front property to sell you in Arizona.

Captain's Quarters this morning already wrote the post that I wish I had written first:

The trouble with McCain the Maverick is that he never existed. McCain has spent his entire political career as McCain the Center of the Universe, mostly adopting positions that get him as much air time as possible. It comes as no surprise that he now wants to suck up to the Bush contingent in the GOP [...]

I don't know what the lefties are so worried about.  The John McCain who wants to nationalize health care, restrict gun rights, raise taxes, and curtail political speech will undoubtedly return soon enough.  All he needs is a light breeze.

UPDATE: I should have added this guy to my list of people who are shocked – shocked, I say! – that McCain is a Republican.  And as a rhetorical aside: Exactly how many "conservatives" take their cues from DailyKos, anyway?

UPDATE 2: Add 365gay.com to the Coalition of the Obtuse.

March 24, 2006

Damn, That Whiny Bastard Can Screw!

Malbug_13A study out of (the unbiased, I'm sure) UC Berkeley found that "whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity," while "confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests."

Meanwhile, GQ is reporting that "after numerous years of intensive research on both sides of the aisle—and sometimes in the aisle—I am here to report that Republican men (except the closet cases) are infinitely better to have sex with."

Sex columnist Dan Savage this week essentially agreed, writing: "People's political leanings, competence, and command of the English language tell us very little about their private sexual conduct. Indeed, one study in the mid '90s found that conservatives were, on average, kinkier than liberals."

We're assuming that liberals who want a good lay travel with a bag to put on their partner's head.

[Thanks, Alan]

March 23, 2006

Hermetically Sealed Dick

Malbug_13Echo chamber watch: Cheney's hotel TV will brook no dissent.

March 22, 2006

Gays Next Target of Ken Starr?

Malbug_13Former Whitewater Independent Counsel Ken Starr is scheduled to speak today on the "Meaning of Marriage" at Bates College in Lewiston, Maine.

March 13, 2006

Purg-ing the Airwaves


Purgason: Billy of the Hills

Malbug_13An obscure Missouri state senator, previously known for trying to take away prosthetic limbs and wheelchairs from the disabled, kicked up a bit of a fuss last week by suggesting legislation that would prevent cable TV companies in his state from airing Brokeback Mountain.

Chuck Purgason is an Ozarks-born farmer who runs a cow/calf operation near Caulfield, Mo.  Many movies that came before Brokeback escaped the his eagle eye.  But this time, it's personal:

“I feel cowboys across the nation have been put into a bit of a poor light,” Purgason said.

Purgason later withdrew the amendment, saying he was only joking. Sort of. “I do think they have been put in a bad light,” he said.

Purgason has a long career in both houses of the Missouri legislature, but the achievement he is most proud of was getting a free bowl of soup with that haircut.

If you'd care to offer other things Mr. Purgason might care to legislate, you can email him at [email protected], or call his office at 573-751-1882.  Or offer them here in the comments section.  [Thanks, Celeste!]

March 10, 2006

Double-Take Whiplash

Malbug_13He hates blacks, he hates immigrants, he hates gays, so of course he's ... African-American?!

Meet the congressional candidate with one of the most outrageous (and copyright-infringing) political ads in recent history.  And I'm counting the NAACP's James Byrd ad.

[h/t: Towleroad]