The Malcontent

Next Issue: The Boys of Belzec

Let's play, "Which one of these does not go with the others?"

Someone should probably tell the boys at DNA magazine that crematorium does not mean what they think it means.

180 Degrees From Cooper

A very strange sexuality news day. First we hear tell that Anderson Cooper is a big fan of girl bits, and now super hottie Jared Leto kinda, sorta, maybe, potentially comes out?

ThirtySecondLeto: I’ll give you an exclusive.... TyeinMusic: ooh. lay it on me ThirtySecondLeto: I’m gay TyeinMusic: *!* TyeinMusic: please tell me you're serious ThirtySecondLeto: as a goose.

Worth Repeating has more details and the entire interview with AOL.

Pic comment from Patrick in L.A.: "He has a pink wrist band on. That picture was taken after a night out in West Hollywood for sure. He's doing the walk of shame."

Rub a Dub Doc

As part of ABC's Fall Schedule presentation, the actors on Grey's Anatomy reworked an infamous scene from earlier in the season. In the original, George dreams of taking a shower with the three attractive female interns he is living with at the time. In this parody clip, the tables are turned as Bailey walks in on a bastion of homoerotic soapiness.

h/t Pop Culture Junkies

Daytime Sight-Seeing

Admittedly, I'm feeling a little skint in the blogging area of late. This week I've learned that there seems to be some sort of national tiff developing over immigration, and gay activists really, really hate Mary Cheney. Check out these reviews. So, we gay folk are basically a writhing horde of petulant eight grade girls. Excellent. That being what it is, I've decided my only coherent contribution is to shamelessly ogle cute male celebrities. In that spirit . . .

Justin Chambers, the aforementioned Grey's Anatomy hottie, sat down with the harpies of the View this morning. While the character he plays, Alex, is a self-absorbed hard-ass, Justin seems quiet, unassuming, even shy. Then again, who wouldn't shrink in terror when faced with the withered plastic visage of Starr Jones Reynolds? I could quibble with the goatee and why on earth his hair is parted that way, but he still fills out a pair of jeans quite nicely.

[Watch video – 6:06, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:06, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Nick Lachey visited everyone's favorite lesbian this afternoon for some mama bear treatment and to perform a badly off-key song, much to a backstage Chris Daughtry's eternal amusement. Chris, however, has no reason to snicker. He somehow came to the conclusion that singing that Bon Jovi song for the billionth time on his thousandth talk show appearance was a terrific way to not-at-all get us over him. I've spared the musical repeat from the clip.

[Watch video – 10:50, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 10:50, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Unreasonable Searches and Teasers

There is a lot of entertainment to be had in periodically checking out the facts that can be known about readers from their "cookie" crumbs, so to speak.  I never get to know much about you all personally from your monitor settings, your operating system, or the city where your ISP is.

But the keyword searches that get you here speak volumes.

For instance, at this moment, more than one-fifth of you who used a search engine to get here wanted to know variations on a single topic:

Someone looking for a sugar pop?

Then there is this, which I hope speaks more about the readers than Robbie and me:

And nearly as vile, this:

And puzzlingly, this:

Finally — and perhaps most disturbingly of all — there is this:

OK, people, now that's just sick.

SNL Hits It Out of the Park

With just one episode remaining in the season, "Saturday Night Live" is finishing strong.

Maybe it was the remaining Vlada vodka in my system as I watched it yesterday morning, but I laughed uproariously at several of the sketches.  Hosted by SNL and "Seinfeld" alum Julia Louis-Dreyfus, there was very little to criticize from start to finish.

I've included several of the sketches in a meaty highlight reel:

First, during the cold open, we are asked to imagine an alternate universe in which (the real) Al Gore was elected President in 2000 and re-elected in 2004, leading to a comically utopian America.  But President Gore is troubled by a host of new "problems" that he has helped create.  It's a great prelude to the real President's address to the nation tonight.

This sketch was priceless, and Gore's delivery was perfect.

Next, Kristin Wiig and Horatio Sanz are hosts of what looks like the worst TV morning show in history.  Everything that can go wrong, does, including Sanz's accidental grab of Julia Louis-Dreyfus's boobs.  It hearkened back to Elaine's own unintentional grope of Teri Hatcher on "Seinfeld."  ("They're real, and they're spectacular!")

I have watched that sketch three times, and I belly-laugh every time.

Third, Andy Samberg plays a Learning Annex teacher of a class to teach people how to set up their own MySpace page.  Except that the class is filled almost entirely with pervy older men with ulterior motives.

I keep getting distressed when I watch something that proves that pedophilia – or at least the suggestion of it – can be funny.  But in this case, it's true.  Sanz again shines in this sketch.

And finally, while probably the weakest of the four (mainly because it dragged on a bit too long) was a '70s-era gameshow spoof called "Charades," with Chris Parnell as host Bert Convy and a panel of D-list celebrities.  Darrell Hammond was especially great as Rich Little, who incessantly interrupted with daft but hilarious non sequitur impressions.

The joke here was that all the charades Louis-Dreyfus's character had to act out were all part of a cruel, common theme.

The period costumes and wigs were terrific, as was Parnell's oversized microphone.

[Watch video – 23:24, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 23:24, WMV format, low bandwidth]

A Saturday 'Mo-saic

Reader Ken sends us this appealing set of imagery of soap hottie Adrian Bellani, giving me yet another reason to quit my job and stay home watching daytime television:

Enjoy your weekend, everyone.  It was supposed to be rainy and miserable here in NYC.  Instead, it is brilliantly sunny and 65.  Kinda puts a crimp in my indoor cleaning plans.

"Stand"ing in Good Stead

OMG, there is almost too much prettiness to behold in X-Men: The Last Stand.

See for yourself.

I'm sure the extended trailer that aired on Fox on Thursday night has already made the rounds, but in case not, we aim to serve your every homoerotic superhero whim.

[Watch video – 7:05, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:05, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Insert Suggestive Reference to Pitchers and Catchers Here

I'm starting to see what Robbie sees in this whole baseball thing.

But I'll bet he is cursing Scott Podsednik for choosing not playing shortstop.

[h/t Andy]

Shock, n. See: "Daughtry, Chris"

SPECIAL NOTE to "Access Atlanta/AJC.com" readers: Thank you for visiting this site.  A little controvery erupted among some of the readers of the site that brought you here about this being a "gay" blog, so I applaud you for choosing quality video over homophobia.

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Chris Daughtry and others on "American Idol" seemed genuinely shocked by the rocker's early ejection from the competition.

Umm, ever heard of the Internet, Chris?

His reaction was a multi-tiered masterpiece, evincing his barely concealed disgust at the unparalleled boobery of the Idol-watching public.

Paula was disconsolate, while Simon watched dollar signs fly right out of the Kodak Theater.

The stills below capture the range of emotion, but what was most priceless was watching Daughtry's face dissolve in a nanosecond from frivolity and smugness to naked rage.

[Watch video – 3:58, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 3:58, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Holding Out for a Hero

The new issue of The Advocate has a focus on the gays' fixation on superheroes, which should mean many a queer dollar spent this summer to see Superman Returns and X-Men: Final Stand.

Brandon's fabled bulge notwithstanding, I was especially curious to see that Ben Foster would be playing "The Angel," a winged mutant who looks like he just dragged his ass in from the White Party.

Foster, as you may recall, played Claire's bisexual boyfriend Russell on several episodes of "Six Feet Under."  But as you will see in the photo, could it be that sensitive, little artist Russell is – of all things – fuckin' ripped?

The flick also features Kelsey Grammer as a character known as "The Beast."

I can just see a blue, ultra-effete mutant, and how menacing he will really be: "Niles, I'm going to disembowel you!"

A Piece of Hot Apple Guy

Gay Cowboy Bob sends along this image from the Apple Store's website:

Yes, if I weren't already gay, I'd imagine you could.

Blonde Bond-shell

The new trailer for the upcoming Bond movie, Casino Royal, has just been released. Does anyone really care? Of course not. Far more important is whether or not the new 007, Daniel Craig, is worth an ogle on the DVD release. This still from the trailer might hold some promise.

h/t Ace

Arjan Simmers

Blog pal ArjanWrites had an unbelievable view of Scissor Sisters and Madonna at the Coachella Arts & Music Festival.

It was 96 degrees there yesterday, which means that he probably got sweat on by Jake.  A lot.

We're not jealous.  Nope, not at all.  [Punts dog through plate-glass window]

Non-Ambiguously Funny

It may have been the equivalent of a clip show, but "Saturday Night Live" is always at its best when it features Rob Smigel's "Saturday TV Funhouse," and even better when the old clips are hosted by those ambiguously gay crime-fighters, Ace and Gary.

Two dozen of Smigel's most brilliant cartoons and films were shown on this weekend's SNL, sticking the shiv deep into everybody from Michael Jackson and Tara Reid to Disney, politicians and the Smurfs.

When Ace and Gary are picking the clips, you know there's bound to be some, uh, attention-grabbing content, such as Tom Brady in his underwear in a sexual-harassment training video or a naked Andy Samberg (with unfortunate pixelation).

I didn't bother including the clip with Samberg.  The screen grab is probably all you need to know anyway.

A couple of bits of trivia: First, Ace and Gary are voiced by "The Daily Show" alums Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell, respectively.  And second, last night I noticed for the first time that the "G" on Gary's chest resembles the "G" from Genre magazine, which is also a play on the "male" symbol: ♂.  Maybe it's coincidence, maybe not.

Enjoy the clips.

[Watch video – 17:04, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 17:04, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Gratuitousness

I know we have been a bit skin-deficient around here lately, at least, as far as political blogs go.  Let's face it, we're no Made In Brazil, Oh La La Paris or Fleshbot.  Hell, we'd even make a piss-poor Rod 2.0.

But I just had to share a spread from the May issue of Out magazine.

Look, I don't know who this Yves Saint Laurent person is, and I don't much care.  And I couldn't tell his summer collection from a stamp collection.

All I know is, I'm all for fashion that consists of, well, pretty much no clothing whatsoever.

I'm serious.  Can someone explain this to me?

Afternoon Soap Snack

Leaving the television on mute in the afternoon while working rarely yields anything of quality, but occasionally the video gods are kind.

What is going on in these All My Children scenes, I couldn't tell you. Who these characters are, I cannot say. One of the actors is apparently model Justin Bruening.

None of this is important. What is relevant is two built, muscley, shirtless, sweaty men playing basketball and threatening to strangle one another.

I thought the magically appearing chest sweat after commercial break was a nice touch.

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Webcam Boys

Before we, um, loved him as host of "Celebrity Fit Club" and as a judge on "But Can They Sing," gay comedian ANT was an entrepreneur of sorts.  You might call him a "porntrepreneur."

A few years and several additional pounds ago, ANT's comedy act wasn't exactly setting the world ablaze.  So to make a little extra scratch, he decided to become a gay webcam pioneer.

He was smart enough not to put his own puffy torso on display.  Instead, he placed an ad in a newspaper and soon met Kip, his first star.  As the popularity caught on, ANT added new studs to the stable.  And soon, he had enough to make a documentary.

"Webcam Boys," which played recently on "Here!TV," is the story of Kip, along with David, Pierre, Cory, Zack, Matt, Dino, Cody, Rick and Jeremy.  More marketing ploy than Peabody Award winner, the boys give us an idea of what it is like to live on the Web, 24/7.

Kinda like a blogger, I imagine, except that y'all don't have to look at my ass.

[Watch video – 13:12, WMV format, high bandwidth, mostly NSFW]

[Watch video – 13:12, WMV format, low bandwidth, mostly NSFW]

A few NSFW screen grabs after the jump.

Not Your Grandfather's Muppets

TBS this week has been rerunning the last few episodes of "Sex and the City," and it got me to thinking: Here we have Mikhail Baryshnikov playing the suave Russian "Aleksandr Petrovsky," who has made a fortune as an artist.  And what is his medium of choice?  "Light installations."

Yes, the guy basically takes neon or fluorescent tubes and creates rather banal blinking things for which people supposedly plunk down big bucks.  As any "SATC" fan knows, Carrie became fed up with all things Aleksandr and fled Paris for life back in Manhattan.  (Of course, it didn't help that he "accidentally" hit her, either.)

My point being that, while I suppose I found some aesthetic quality in those "light installations," I was just as perplexed by them as Carrie was.

No sirree, give me "dick tricks" instead.  I'm talking about "Puppetry of the Penis," or "the ancient art of genital origami," created by Aussie duo Simon Morley and David Friend.

I have not had the pleasure of seeing the show in person, but I caught HBO's rerun last night of the "Real Sex" episode featuring this bizarre and rather painful-looking art form.  If you're a "POTP" virgin, then prepare to be ... well, amused, anyway.

You will probably never look at the Eiffel Tower or hamburgers the same way again.  (Very much NSFW.)

[Watch video – 10:04, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 10:04, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Beach Boys

Click to make fig leaves disappear (obviously NSFW)

Before there was Herb Ritts, there was Mel Roberts.

Roberts was a prolific photographer of the male form.  In the 1960s and 1970s, he focused on many of the beach bums and surfers who were discovering the sexual revolution on and off the sands of Southern California.  He was profiled on a recent episode of "Sexplorations" on the "Here! TV" network.

Many of the models were friends and lovers of Roberts, a World War II veteran and gay activist who founded California's chapter of the pioneering Mattachine Society.

In the late 1970s, the L.A. Police Department raided his home twice and confiscated prints and equipment, which were eventually returned.  (Frontal male nudity was generally considered obscene at the time.)  In 1981, he hung up his camera for good, but he helped pave the way for other notable photographers who celebrated male beauty.

His photographs have been collected in books including "California Boys" and "The Wild Ones."

The video of the segment follows, and some very much NSFW photos are after the jump.

[Watch video – 5:37, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 5:37, WMV format, low bandwidth]