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December 27, 2005

Television Countdown '05

Thesoup As the final week of 2005 gains steam, we can expect to see endless lists, top tens, bests, worsts, and mainly reminders of things we'd totally forgotten about.

So it is with television. E!'s The Soup recently compiled a list of the top 40 television clips of the year. Of course, they have excellent taste. Many of the clips they selected have appeared on Malcovision over the past few months, including an inexplicable visit to Katrina ravaged New Orleans by Richard Simmons, the Harry Potter and Ron Weasley boy crush, and - of course! - the appearance of Margaret "dark-sided" Perrin.

In this highlight clip, we're treated to Barbara Walters' strange homophobia, a reminder that Rosie O'Donnell embarrassed herself as a mentally-challenged woman while the audience howled with laughter, lesbians dressed as Boy Scouts, George Takei's frank interview about his homosexuality, Kirstie Alley lusting for food, a Brokeback Mountain spoof, and The Soup's #1 clip of the year . . . Whitney Houston turns out to be Republican.

[Watch video – 6:24, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:24, WMV format, low bandwidth]

November 30, 2005

Leno's Couch Not the Only One Perrin Should Visit

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Malbug_13Everyone's favorite God Warrior, Margaret "Marguerite" Perrin, is squeezing everything she possibly can out of her 15 minutes of rapture.

Last night, she dropped by Jay Leno's "big estrogen special" (which also included Roseanne Barr-Pentland-Arnold-Nolastname-Thomas-Barr-Fortensky) to talk about astrology, "the melt-down" and her fortuitous fame.

Mainly I tuned in to see whether she would eat Leno, but I would be disappointed on that count.  While the atheist-reviling Perrin was as pleasant as punch, she did admit that "being nice don't get ya anywhere."

Surely not onto The Tonight Show – just ask Helen Kushnik.

[Watch video – 7:25, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:25, WMV format, low bandwidth]

The Leno-safe Perrin was hardly worth staying up until 11:35 for, but at least we'll always have those six minutes on Fox ...

November 13, 2005

Milagro del Burro: Wanna See My Ass?

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It doesn't involve a cheese sandwich, but it still looks to me like a miracle of some kind.

A donkey – probably the one that bore Christ as he rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday – has miraculously appeared in the marble tile in the bathtub of our master bathroom.  (Or maybe it was one of the donkeys from the manger scene.  I'm not quite clear on that point.)

My husband, a Democrat, first discovered this glorious apparition, so I'm pretty sure this is some sort of sign to Democrats everywhere.  Because it would be difficult to sell the shower tile from a rental apartment on eBay, Democratic pilgrims can view and pray over the Miracle Donkey in person for a very reasonable fee.

I wonder if Margaret Perrin might be interested?

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That's one great ass. (Click to enlarge.)

November 10, 2005

Give This Woman Her Own Show!

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Wednesday nights are posing an increasingly difficult choice of what to watch on TV.  So instead of forcing myself to choose, I recorded it all and went out drinking.

But fortunately, I did see what had to be the absolute highlight of the evening, bar none: the conclusion of a two-part episode of Fox's "Trading Spouses."  Last week was merely a cruel cock tease of last night's meltdown of (quite literally) Biblical proportions.

TradingspousesMarguerite Perrin was almost immediately a fish out of water in the D’Amico-Flisher home.  An extremely devout Christian (she tried to toss any non-Christians on the TV crew out of her home at the end), she had major trouble with her new family's New Age beliefs.  She spent the episode alternating between hysterical crying jags and shouting and cursing about her "ungodly" hosts.

The only thing she didn't do was start talking in tongues.

In this final scene from the show, Marguerite returns to her family and absolutely loses it over the "dark-sided" presence that had been in her home, and her family's lack of prayer for her while she was gone.  (For the record, Jeanne D’Amico-Flisher is one of the sweetest women alive and was nothing but kind and generous to the Perrins.  And Marguerite Perrin is one fat, crazy bitch.)

Each mother was able to allocate $50,000 to her new family in a manner of her own choosing.  So will Marguerite keep Jeanne's "ungodly" bequeathal?  Find out by watching what is among the best 6 minutes and 23 seconds of television ever broadcast.

UPDATE: Hello, readers of Pink Is the New Blog, City Rag and Hollywood Rag.  Be sure to bookmark us for plenty of regularly updated video, and other fun and inappropriate stuff!

[Watch video – 6:23, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 6:23, WMV format, low bandwidth]