The Malcontent

I See You

Sick bastard.

Content (A.K.A. "Ptown Marriage Blog" Conclusion)

(The long-promised conclusion to the wedding saga ...)

Sometimes I worry that I'm doing a poor job of upholding the good name of "The Malcontent," because the fact is, I'm pretty damn happy most of the time.  Don't get me wrong, there is no shortage of snark and smarm left in me.

The headline, you see, refers to the adjective, not the noun.  All along the way, from the time we first discussed making it "legit" up until the moment that I said "I will," there was never a moment of hesitation.  Not once.

I used to say that the ridiculous amount of money I spent on LASIK surgery several years ago was the best decision I had ever made.  But it would be a shallow existence indeed if I went to my grave with that opinion intact.  Thankfully, getting married has supplanted those 30 minutes with the eye doctor.

Mail Call!

As a relatively new blog (if not a new blogger), The Malcontent doesn't get much fan mail yet.  But this one was just too precious not to share:

Congrads [sic] on being a silly couple of queens...who seem to be misguided in a political view.

Arrogant NY Bitches would be a better title for your blog.

As an older Gay Man...I could give a shit about your visit to Ptown...whoever sent me your blog will have hell to pay.

DM

Dear DM:

Aww, sorry you're so angry!

My husband is a die-hard Democrat who is apparently much more open-minded about the world than you are.  I hope you find someone like him.  Even bitter old trolls deserve happiness!

Kisses!

--M

Back to Reality

We head back to the Apple in a little more than an hour (sob).  It has been a terrific week in Ptown.

And yes, we did indeed go through with it.  No runaway brides here.  (Although you have to admit, if a gawky Georgia woman can make headlines for days on end, the a runaway gay groom would have made a helluva front-page story!)

I hope to post more about how things actually went down in the next day or so.  Until then, thanks for following us to the Cape.

One Step Closer

Now all we need is the signature!

By the way, on Massachusetts marriage licenses, it now has blanks for "Partner A" and "Partner B," instead of husband and wife.  This, of course, is one of the many things that has made my favorite big, fat, soft target, Rick Santorum, go ballistic.

Yeah, Rick, we get it.  You oppose gay marriage.  (YAWN.)  But assuming that it is happening even without your oh-so-sage consent, what would you propose we do?  Cross through "wife" with a big pink Crayola and write in "Husband #2"?

Massachusetts has treated us with such dignity throughout this entire process that, for at least a moment, it doesn't feel like there are millions of my fellow Americans who want to consign us to second-class citizenship.  From our minister to the town clerk's office, everyone has been completely congratulatory and happy for us.  I have felt no disdainful stares, and heard no stifled snickers.  It is a wonderful feeling of acceptance and inclusion.  If this puts me on the blue side of red-state/blue-state issue, then so be it.

Speaking of our minister, a big Malcontent shout out to the United Church of Christ, the first mainline Christian denomination to fully recognize same-sex marriage.  The extremists who throw out this Bible verse or that to justify their hate have apparently forgotten a much simpler and more basic precept of Christianity, from 1 John 4:8: "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Profiles in Dis-courage

We saw a hot boy at breakfast this morning.  Or what we thought was a hot boy.  In profile, he had sort of a Toby thing going on.  Then when he turned to face us, he bore a striking resemblance to Peter Lorre.

He was with a girl, but between the pink polo shirt with popped collar and plaid, pastel shorts, we're sure he had to be a homo.

The Gimp Would Like To Ask a Question

... after the jump, faint-of-hearts ...

Oh, Me So Oily, Me Love You Long Time

I am happy because:

1) I just got a 90-minute, deep-tissue massage.

2) I avoided the awkwardness of a proferred "happy ending."

3) I took a pass on an $80 "facial" that would have consisted of having mashed-up strawberries smeared all over my face.  I could get the same for far cheaper at Safeway's produce section.

I am unhappy because:

1) My masseuse had wicked B.O.

2) I think the Hottie's masseuse might have given us both the croup.

3) I was never offered a happy ending in the first place.

New Digs

  The resort management has upgraded our accommodations to a much larger room with a full kitchen and dining area.

If we actually knew anybody here, we could have a helluva party!  (BTW, the picture on the right is the Hottie washing the dog poo off his Steve Madden sandals.  He totally cops to a self-described Lady Macbeth complex.)

Today we are going to try to meet with Rev. Clarke, then two hours of spa treatments, including my first-ever facial.  (The kind you get in a spa, gutter-brains.)  If I had waited much longer to get one, my gay card surely would have been in jeopardy.

Many thanks to those who have so far offered their congratulations.  We could not be happier!

Ptown Photoblog, Part I

Following the jump, a complete rundown on our trip so far.  Hopefully there might also be a few insights for any other same-sex couples thinking of taking the plunge in Massachusetts.

Coming Up: Love, Massachusetts Style

My gorgeous honey and I will be heading off tomorrow for a wonderful week in Ptown.  As it turns out, the plan also includes our legal marriage to each other.  Thus, I will be crossing one threshold, but also another, into the realm of those who can speak in support of gay marriage not just in principle (ahem), but also in practice.  (By the way, I hope Rick Santorum finds out, and I hope it pisses him off.)

I hope to live-blog this important life event, to an extent, but I'm sure you will understand if other forces conspire to rein things in a bit next week.

In the meantime, in the spirit of AGR's pre-vacation valedictory, I will take steal his silly survey (which he, in turn, stole from various other bloggers), and present it after the jump ...