The Malcontent

Next Issue: The Boys of Belzec

Let's play, "Which one of these does not go with the others?"

Someone should probably tell the boys at DNA magazine that crematorium does not mean what they think it means.

180 Degrees From Cooper

A very strange sexuality news day. First we hear tell that Anderson Cooper is a big fan of girl bits, and now super hottie Jared Leto kinda, sorta, maybe, potentially comes out?

ThirtySecondLeto: I’ll give you an exclusive.... TyeinMusic: ooh. lay it on me ThirtySecondLeto: I’m gay TyeinMusic: *!* TyeinMusic: please tell me you're serious ThirtySecondLeto: as a goose.

Worth Repeating has more details and the entire interview with AOL.

Pic comment from Patrick in L.A.: "He has a pink wrist band on. That picture was taken after a night out in West Hollywood for sure. He's doing the walk of shame."

A Saturday 'Mo-saic

Reader Ken sends us this appealing set of imagery of soap hottie Adrian Bellani, giving me yet another reason to quit my job and stay home watching daytime television:

Enjoy your weekend, everyone.  It was supposed to be rainy and miserable here in NYC.  Instead, it is brilliantly sunny and 65.  Kinda puts a crimp in my indoor cleaning plans.

Insert Suggestive Reference to Pitchers and Catchers Here

I'm starting to see what Robbie sees in this whole baseball thing.

But I'll bet he is cursing Scott Podsednik for choosing not playing shortstop.

[h/t Andy]

Holding Out for a Hero

The new issue of The Advocate has a focus on the gays' fixation on superheroes, which should mean many a queer dollar spent this summer to see Superman Returns and X-Men: Final Stand.

Brandon's fabled bulge notwithstanding, I was especially curious to see that Ben Foster would be playing "The Angel," a winged mutant who looks like he just dragged his ass in from the White Party.

Foster, as you may recall, played Claire's bisexual boyfriend Russell on several episodes of "Six Feet Under."  But as you will see in the photo, could it be that sensitive, little artist Russell is – of all things – fuckin' ripped?

The flick also features Kelsey Grammer as a character known as "The Beast."

I can just see a blue, ultra-effete mutant, and how menacing he will really be: "Niles, I'm going to disembowel you!"

Buck-ing for Promotion

How do you like your guys?

Do you like them with a smooth, shaved head?  A handlebar mustache, maybe?  Huge, bulging biceps and tats that go on for days?  Then Buck Angel might be just the thing for you.

Oh, and did we mention that he has a vagina?  (Were the "birthing hips" a giveaway?)

Since I seem to be striking out all over the place today – with attempts at humor that no one thinks are funny, and daily features that no one believes are relevant – I decided to post the most shocking video in Malcovision history.

It's not unlike the first rule in crisis communications: "Get all of your bad news out at once."

So prepare to behold a disaster of epic proportions.  We're talking Poseidon to the 9/11th power.

Buck Angel is described as “the world’s first FTM porn star with a vagina.”  That's kind of like saying you pitched the first no-hitter for a right-hander on a Tuesday at night on artificial turf.

In the most extreme and most extremely NSFW clip we've ever posted, Buck recently stopped by The Howard Stern Show.  Things were going relatively fine until he/she agreed to ride the “Sybian,” an industrial-strength, vibrating self-pleasure device.

Just as a precaution, unless you are the biggest trannophile ever, you might want to have a shrink on standby, or at least a bucket handy.  And when you stab out your eyes with knitting needles, don't say that you weren't warned.

[Watch video – 21:25, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 21:25, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Blonde Bond-shell

The new trailer for the upcoming Bond movie, Casino Royal, has just been released. Does anyone really care? Of course not. Far more important is whether or not the new 007, Daniel Craig, is worth an ogle on the DVD release. This still from the trailer might hold some promise.

h/t Ace

Non-Ambiguously Funny

It may have been the equivalent of a clip show, but "Saturday Night Live" is always at its best when it features Rob Smigel's "Saturday TV Funhouse," and even better when the old clips are hosted by those ambiguously gay crime-fighters, Ace and Gary.

Two dozen of Smigel's most brilliant cartoons and films were shown on this weekend's SNL, sticking the shiv deep into everybody from Michael Jackson and Tara Reid to Disney, politicians and the Smurfs.

When Ace and Gary are picking the clips, you know there's bound to be some, uh, attention-grabbing content, such as Tom Brady in his underwear in a sexual-harassment training video or a naked Andy Samberg (with unfortunate pixelation).

I didn't bother including the clip with Samberg.  The screen grab is probably all you need to know anyway.

A couple of bits of trivia: First, Ace and Gary are voiced by "The Daily Show" alums Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell, respectively.  And second, last night I noticed for the first time that the "G" on Gary's chest resembles the "G" from Genre magazine, which is also a play on the "male" symbol: ♂.  Maybe it's coincidence, maybe not.

Enjoy the clips.

[Watch video – 17:04, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 17:04, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Gratuitousness

I know we have been a bit skin-deficient around here lately, at least, as far as political blogs go.  Let's face it, we're no Made In Brazil, Oh La La Paris or Fleshbot.  Hell, we'd even make a piss-poor Rod 2.0.

But I just had to share a spread from the May issue of Out magazine.

Look, I don't know who this Yves Saint Laurent person is, and I don't much care.  And I couldn't tell his summer collection from a stamp collection.

All I know is, I'm all for fashion that consists of, well, pretty much no clothing whatsoever.

I'm serious.  Can someone explain this to me?

Afternoon Soap Snack

Leaving the television on mute in the afternoon while working rarely yields anything of quality, but occasionally the video gods are kind.

What is going on in these All My Children scenes, I couldn't tell you. Who these characters are, I cannot say. One of the actors is apparently model Justin Bruening.

None of this is important. What is relevant is two built, muscley, shirtless, sweaty men playing basketball and threatening to strangle one another.

I thought the magically appearing chest sweat after commercial break was a nice touch.

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 2:01, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Webcam Boys

Before we, um, loved him as host of "Celebrity Fit Club" and as a judge on "But Can They Sing," gay comedian ANT was an entrepreneur of sorts.  You might call him a "porntrepreneur."

A few years and several additional pounds ago, ANT's comedy act wasn't exactly setting the world ablaze.  So to make a little extra scratch, he decided to become a gay webcam pioneer.

He was smart enough not to put his own puffy torso on display.  Instead, he placed an ad in a newspaper and soon met Kip, his first star.  As the popularity caught on, ANT added new studs to the stable.  And soon, he had enough to make a documentary.

"Webcam Boys," which played recently on "Here!TV," is the story of Kip, along with David, Pierre, Cory, Zack, Matt, Dino, Cody, Rick and Jeremy.  More marketing ploy than Peabody Award winner, the boys give us an idea of what it is like to live on the Web, 24/7.

Kinda like a blogger, I imagine, except that y'all don't have to look at my ass.

[Watch video – 13:12, WMV format, high bandwidth, mostly NSFW]

[Watch video – 13:12, WMV format, low bandwidth, mostly NSFW]

A few NSFW screen grabs after the jump.

Not Your Grandfather's Muppets

TBS this week has been rerunning the last few episodes of "Sex and the City," and it got me to thinking: Here we have Mikhail Baryshnikov playing the suave Russian "Aleksandr Petrovsky," who has made a fortune as an artist.  And what is his medium of choice?  "Light installations."

Yes, the guy basically takes neon or fluorescent tubes and creates rather banal blinking things for which people supposedly plunk down big bucks.  As any "SATC" fan knows, Carrie became fed up with all things Aleksandr and fled Paris for life back in Manhattan.  (Of course, it didn't help that he "accidentally" hit her, either.)

My point being that, while I suppose I found some aesthetic quality in those "light installations," I was just as perplexed by them as Carrie was.

No sirree, give me "dick tricks" instead.  I'm talking about "Puppetry of the Penis," or "the ancient art of genital origami," created by Aussie duo Simon Morley and David Friend.

I have not had the pleasure of seeing the show in person, but I caught HBO's rerun last night of the "Real Sex" episode featuring this bizarre and rather painful-looking art form.  If you're a "POTP" virgin, then prepare to be ... well, amused, anyway.

You will probably never look at the Eiffel Tower or hamburgers the same way again.  (Very much NSFW.)

[Watch video – 10:04, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 10:04, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Beach Boys

Click to make fig leaves disappear (obviously NSFW)

Before there was Herb Ritts, there was Mel Roberts.

Roberts was a prolific photographer of the male form.  In the 1960s and 1970s, he focused on many of the beach bums and surfers who were discovering the sexual revolution on and off the sands of Southern California.  He was profiled on a recent episode of "Sexplorations" on the "Here! TV" network.

Many of the models were friends and lovers of Roberts, a World War II veteran and gay activist who founded California's chapter of the pioneering Mattachine Society.

In the late 1970s, the L.A. Police Department raided his home twice and confiscated prints and equipment, which were eventually returned.  (Frontal male nudity was generally considered obscene at the time.)  In 1981, he hung up his camera for good, but he helped pave the way for other notable photographers who celebrated male beauty.

His photographs have been collected in books including "California Boys" and "The Wild Ones."

The video of the segment follows, and some very much NSFW photos are after the jump.

[Watch video – 5:37, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 5:37, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Malconsumer Reports: "Boy Butter"

The field of personal lubricant products these days seems more crowded than ever.  New entrepreneurs are constantly springing up like kudzu to claim their piece of a lube pie worth more than $6.8 quadrillion in sales in the United States alone.  Every month.  And that's just for my house.  (Ba-DUM-bum!)

But seriously, today's savvy lube purveyor is looking for a combination of marketability and quality to help him stand out from the crowd, resulting in a host of product names that are double entendres.  Hell, most of them are so blatant, they're single entendres.

One man who thinks his cream will rise to the top is the hunky Eyal Feldman, founder of and spokesmodel for "Boy Butter."  (By the way, anything you buy at CheapLubes.com, my retailer of choice, is 10 percent off until April 6, if you use the discount code Bunny10.)

Recently, Eyal sent me a sample of his product to give it a test drive, claiming that it would be "life-changing."  (I know, few of you probably want to think of The Malcontent as a sexual creature, but a guy has needs!)

So can Boy Butter make me part with my beloved Pjur Eros?  Find out after the jump.

Hot Times

It's never too early for summer at A&F.  The retailer's new summer collection is out, with the requisite half-naked men to go with it.

DNA: The Marriage Issue (Plus Obligatory Sex)

Just in time for spring, the new issue of DNA magazine is all about love and marriage.  Apropos of nothing and dropped in the midst of the nuptial bliss is one of the hot guys of menaustralia.com.

Click to "uncensor" the image (NSFW).

More from DNA after the jump, including why porn star Lucas Ridgeston hung up the cum-rag ... and the gay Catholic blogger who opposes marriage equality.

Low-Carb Eye Candy

Boys, put down the Krispy Kremes and listen up!

Ever wonder how the hottest Hollywood stars manage to keep their bodies in top form – aside from having jobs that are more or less all about how they look?

VH1 and Self magazine are collaborating on a new series called "Most Wanted Bodies," giving us the inside dirt on how to get and keep a leading-man look.  (I always thought it was genetics, but apparently there's, like, hard work and stuff involved.)

There were far too many women in the most recent episode for my liking, so we are left with just LL Cool J, Nick Lachey and Matthew McConaghey for these highlights.

Whom does VH1 think is watching their network, anyway – straight men?

It's a gun show, and MalcoVision gives you front-row seats.

[Watch video – 4:15, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 4:15, WMV format, low bandwidth]

Michelangel-oh!

The famous Florentine Michelangelo, for whom the term "Renaissance Man" practically could have been invented, was infatuated with painting and sculpting the male form.  But as we now know, he loved to do other things to them too.

He liked to write poems about them.  (What did you think I meant?)

On Thursday, a new exhibit of Michelangelo's drawings taken from virtually his entire career opens at the British Museum in London.

So the timing was right for the UK's superb Gay Times magazine to run a spread of photos inspired by some of those 500-year-old images, courtesy of male model "Petr."

He seems a little "softer" than what we're used to in American magazines.  But to me, that only adds to the sexiness.  Or maybe I was just in shock from seeing Gay Times in Germany surrounded by several other mainstream publications with naked ladies on the cover.

What follows after the jump is NSFW, unless your boss likes it when you look at man-ass ...

Tyson Beckford At a Gay Club?

Leave it to the boys at Oh La La Paris to leave us yearning for more details!

[Related: Rod 2.0 carried a Tyson strip show earlier in the week.]

Real World: Battle of the Bars

This week, the Real World presents us with Silly Homosexual Argument #4: How obligated are straight male friends to hang out at gay male bars?

After Tyler invites the house to a gay club, frat boy John and others manage only a short stay before wandering off for straighter watering holes.

Does Tyler confront John? Will the phrase "straight agenda" enter the conversation? Will the audience gasp in suspense as John breaks the cardinal rule of never ever pulling a clothed, gelled, and cologned mo' into a pool?

The answers are in this week's Malcovision clip. Though I must say, Tyler's ultimate reasonableness on the matter has kicked him up a notch on the adorable scale.

[Watch video – 7:53, WMV format, high bandwidth]

[Watch video – 7:53, WMV format, low bandwidth]