The Malcontent

Freddy Quimby Meets Jeff Conaway

May 5, 2006, Boston Herald:

U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy insisted yesterday that he had consumed “no alcohol” before he slammed his Mustang convertible into a concrete barrier near his office, but a hostess at a popular Capitol Hill watering hole told the Herald she saw him drinking in the hours before the crash. [snip] Earlier in the evening, Kennedy issued a statement through his office blaming the accident and strange behavior surrounding it on prescription drugs.

Jan. 8, 2006, a drunken Jeff Conaway on "Celebrity Fit Club":

"Everybody, thank you for your concern. It was nothing to be concerned about. I took a couple of Benadryl and I got loopy. ... I am on prescription drugs, yes."

UPDATE: Not to be flip about this situation, because Kennedy now has stopped lying and is going into drug rehab.  Hey, it worked for P.O.B.

Bart(lett)'s Familiar Quotations

Find a "Simpsons" quote for every occasion.

How scary is it that I have probably used a majority of those in the past week?

Mmmm, Infidel Bacon . . .

  D'oh!

(Oct. 18) -- After 17 seasons of entertaining U.S. audiences, "The Simpsons" can now be seen on Arab television. While U.S. foreign policy is not always a hit overseas, there is a huge audience for American popular culture.

So the Arab satellite network MBC is bringing the cartoon saga of Springfield to the heart of the Arab world. "The Simpsons" has been exported overseas and is now called "Al Shamshoon."

The article notes "anti-Islamic" Homeric staples such as bacon, beer, and Moe's will be removed from the Arab version.

Simpsons' Guest Voices Revealed

If you are as tired as we are of waiting until November for Fox's TV season to get under way, you'll be pleased to know that they have switched stategies this year, debuting series when normal people do.  (For instance, we always found it odd that The Simpsons' Halloween episodes aired before the actual season "premiere.")

Not only will The Simpsons 17th season premiere on Sept. 11, but Fox has given a sneak peek at the celebs who will be lending their voices this year.  The list includes Alec Baldwin, Kelsey Grammer (as Sideshow Bob), Dennis Rodman, pitcher Randy Johnson, Joe Frazier, Ricky Gervais, William H. Macy, Lily Tomlin, Frances McDormand, Rob Reiner and Richard Dean Anderson.  (We are sure that Patty and Selma -- or at least Selma -- is moist about that last one.)

[HT: GayOrbit]

Not only will Gervais provide his voice, but he also lent his writing talents to the episode, a fact which made the Brit funnyman quite giddy:

"I've won awards for The Office, written Extras and written an episode of The Simpsons. But if there is one thing on your CV, make sure it's The Simpsons. That's what I'm really proud of."