I'm Too Sexy for This Robe
Many thanks to GOP Vixen for including me as a panelist in her "Sexiest Supreme Court Justice" contest. (Winner: Clarence Thomas ... although John Roberts sorta wins if nominees are included.)
Here was my ballot (written pre-Rehnquist's death), including my unexpurgated answers regarding Clarence Thomas:
William Rehnquist: 8.5. I adore the $30,000 impeachment admiralty robe! Has a Supreme Court chief justice ever been this consumed with couture before? I imagine him alone at night with a bottle of Pinot Grigio, performing the complete score from HMS Pinafore. Bonus points for the jaunty Windsor cap.John Paul Stevens: 4. Chicks dig the bowtie. But majority opinion in FCC v Pacifica means he is unlikely to talk dirty in bed.Antonin Scalia: 7. "That's a spicy meatball!" This Italian stallion would have scored a solid 9, but I docked him one point for his poor showing in the Miss Congeniality contest, and another point for his too-selective use of stare decisis.Anthony Kennedy: 10. Three words: Lawrence v Texas. It doesn't get any sexier than that.David Souter: 5. Urban eroticism pre-empted by Yankee stoicism.Clarence Thomas: 8. The Malcontent thinks that whole "Long Dong Silver" business all might have been a bit of thinly disguised autobiographical projection.Steven Breyer: 3. Steven who? His blank slate of a tenure (not to mention his entirely forgettable appearance) is a metaphor for the presidency of the man who nominated him. But he gets a bonus point for not resorting to the comb-over.